Books and Bakes

Hi

2011-02-11T23:05:00.001-05:00

My daemon knocked on the door today and asked me if I wanted to write with her. I said yes.

Simmering just below the surface

2010-08-13T22:53:00.003-04:00

So what do you do when someone has already written your book, has had huge success by doing so, and then gets to be played by Julia Roberts in the major motion picture? What writer, or woman for that matter, hasn’t dreamed of being played by Julia Roberts?

Take sip of wine. Wait for more inspiration.

Wait.

I guess I should clarify. I am not divorced, nor have I eaten in Italy, prayed in India, or loved in Indonesia. So no, Elizabeth Gilbert did not steal my life story. But she wrote the book about female redemption and falling in love with yourself that has been inside of me for way too long.

Why haven’t I written it you ask? Because I’m still too arrogant and ego driven to do it justice, frankly. I still want every wisdom-filled thought and every brilliant moment of dialogue to come from her (my main character). I want every other character to be in awe of her, despite the fact that she is utterly in shambles and can barely see through her tears. I want her to be the heroine that even heroines adore. Ugh, how self-indulgent is that.

But I still can’t get past it. So I marinate. And marinate some more. And I keep thinking that at some point I will be in the right space, and it will be the right time. Suddenly it will erupt from me like Mt. Vesuvius and all will stand in awe of this magnificent thing that has been created for all to enjoy – by me. Ugh some more. I’m annoyed with myself.

I wonder why, now that I have diagnosed this pitiful arrogance, why is it that I cannot move past it? Why can’t I write and do justice to a whole host of characters that are just waiting, hopefully not in vain, for me to put them down on paper. Why does she have to be the only one who offers up worthy material?

And why does writing come easier when you have a glass of wine to lean on? Wayne Dyer just told me today that until I stop drinking, I cannot get closer to what it is I’m trying to get close to. That the doors will not open until the alcohol is gone. Clarification once again: I never drink. In the past month I have had 3 drinks. Four if you count the one sitting next to me, but I was referring to the month that ended yesterday. The rare time you’ll find me with a drink in my hand is because I like the ritual of it. The idea. But I do know that my body does not like the ritual, and so I abstain most of the time.

I want to eat in Italy, pray in India and love in Indonesia. I want to see the world and taste and hug it. I don’t want to die with my music in me. But sometimes I just don’t have any clue how to compose what it is I’m trying to do here. I don’t know how to string it all together so that it all makes sense. So that I’m making enough money to do the traveling that I want to do, yet spending time with myself, working on the things I need to emotionally and spiritually work on. I loathe doing work that I don’t like; trouble is I have yet to find actual work that I like. So I continue to freelance, doing things that will mostly pay the bills. Assisting prop stylists, working at photo studios, Saturdays decorating for other people’s weddings. And then waiting for checks.

I’ve lost my mojo.

I’m writing a book for someone else. A real book contract, my first. I have a little over a month left to finish it. It’s going well, but seeing as that I have never written an entire book before, I really don’t know if it’s actually going well.

I keep thinking, and hoping, that when this book is finished and published, that perhaps my issues of writing my own novel will abate. The idea is, that once this book is done, I will have actually written a book. No denying that. And maybe that will make me feel less terrified of writing my book.

I’ve written a lot of it. I took a year off of working to do so. But I’ve grown leaps and bounds since then and honestly feel that I have to start from scratch. Most of what I wrote came from a place of fear. The fear of not writing since everyone knew I had taken a year off to write my great American novel. Everyone was expecting it. So I wrote. But the problem was I was not true to myself in the journey that I allowed her to take.

I did things for the sake of doing them. They did not further her or her story. And in reality, they were disrespectful of her. So now I’m back to square one.

I feel myself growing closer. I’m writing again for one thing, and I recognize how monumental that is. My lack of discipline hinders me. But I’m working on it. And have made strides that I’m indeed proud of.

I will eat in Italy. I will pray in India. And I will love in Indonesia. But more than all of that, someday I hope to give Elizabeth a hug and thank her for writing her book. Not mine, hers. Mine is still in me. But unfortunately Julia has grown a tad too old to play me.

Happiness to Hostility

2010-01-29T23:50:00.003-05:00

Starting with Happy and then searching for synonyms, it took me 16 words to get to Hostility.

Happiness = Contentment = Comfort = Ease = Quiet = Calm = Untroubled = Blase = Uninterested = Apathetic = Emotionless = Cool = Standoffish = Unapproachable = Unfriendly = Hostility

Fun With My Thesaurus

2010-01-27T16:38:00.002-05:00

It takes just 16 words to go from Intelligent to Ignorant (though I've seen many people take less).

Intelligent = Clever = Resourceful = Creative = Original = Authentic = Genuine = True = Unvarnished = Straightforward = Uncomplicated = Simple = Elementary = Rudimentary = Unsophisticated = Ignorant

Things I know for sure

2009-07-14T16:42:00.001-04:00

• The Weight Watchers orange Hungry guy is adorable and I would invite him in if he brought me a donut.

• When mixed in milk, Carnation Instant Breakfast turns turquoise if you let it sit out for two days or more.

• If my boyfriend smelled like fresh, ripe watermelon, I might love him more.

Quote of yesterday…

2009-03-28T11:25:00.003-04:00

"Who's been eating my porridge?" - Adrien, bringer of joy (the digital tech) : commenting on how every night when you come back to your room at the Mandarin Oriental Miami the TV is on, your stuff is moved around and the lights are all on.

Quote of the day…

2009-03-26T16:40:00.002-04:00

"That tasted like salty fart." - Ashley : on set in Miami talking about stinky cheese.

Thought of the day…

2009-03-26T16:34:00.002-04:00

To drink your own urine in space is to dance the impossible dance. - Group Effort : Shauna, Erin, Steve & I on set in Miami - still harping on the pee drinking model.

Quote of the day…

2009-03-25T22:41:00.002-04:00

"You look fantastic! Have you been drinking your own urine?" - Erin : my favorite production assistant.

Explanation: The model on a previous photo shoot announced to everyone on set that she drank her own urine every morning. We have reincarnated this joke in so many ways, but this is by far my favorite!

Quote of the day

2009-03-11T18:12:00.003-04:00

"What time is it? It feels like tomorrow." - Steve : said in sexy Australian accent on set at a photo shoot.

Something to think about…

2008-12-13T16:54:00.002-05:00

Must have something to do with the economy…

Rain rain go away…

2008-12-11T21:59:00.005-05:00

… come again another day!

It's been raining a lot lately in New York, which I've learned can be quite hazardous for the normal, everyday walk down the street. Trying to make it to the subway without loosing an eye or poking someone to death is more difficult then it was to get into college, I swear! It's like a sea of deadly metal spikes pushing their way down any given avenue, and New Yorkers just don't seem to care. I at least dive out of the way to avoid impaling some small child or tall man, but others, nope! They just walk along as if they don't have a deadly weapon floating in wait above their heads, ready to stab any unsuspecting sidewalk mate. It's frightening actually!

Having not often used an umbrella in my former "run from house to car and from car to building" kind of life, the concept of investing in a good rain shield has never occurred to me. But today, the third day of having my cheap, borrowed from my sister umbrella turned inside out by the wind, it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, a good umbrella in New York is just an important in a heated loft (another lesson I'm learning the hard way!)

So tonight as my wool jacket sits soaking and smelling in the corner of my room, I decided to search online for something cuter than the rest of the depressing black canopies that haunt the streets of this city. I struck gold when I wandered upon Umbrellas.net! I'm totally loving their adorable designs and I just thought I would share the ones I'm drooling over! I just can't decide! Go check them out, they are so darn cute!

Hm...

2008-12-03T14:14:00.001-05:00

I have begun to wonder if I might in fact be a Manhattanite versus a Brooklyn girl? Five more leased months to figure it out.

Sexy new discovery

2008-11-23T10:52:00.005-05:00

One of my five roommates, JS, got back from Los Angeles the other day after assisting on a very cool photo shoot for the latest Tim Burton film that's in the works. The moment he walked through our big, beautiful steel door, I ambushed him and dragged him off to the bar where one of our other roommates, AC, works. I had been in the house for days and really needed to get out, so I forced him to go with me :) That's the beauty of living with five other people, there's always someone around!

So JC and I went off to Hugs on North 6th in Williamsburg, where he proceeded to pull out his iPhone so we could geek out together. I was not prepared for what would follow! Just about the sexiest thing any iPhone nerd could dream of. A beautiful solid wood case for the beloved Apple masterpiece. Seriously, solid wood! It's stunning and I cannot help but dream of the day when I can afford to incase my little buddy in a oak wood cozy! I cannot justify the purchase at this time, but you can bet it's been filed away in my brain and my bookmarks and I will venture back to Miniot.com where the lovelies live as soon as humanly possible.

First impressions

2008-11-15T11:14:00.003-05:00

So I'd like to think that first impressions aren't everything, but in reality they are. And with that said allow me to share a few of my first impressions of the Big Apple!

It must be said that I have been working non-stop since two days after I arrived (those two days were spent unpacking and painting) and so that means I've been stuck doing anything other than what I want to be doing for the last 13 days straight. No complaints, it's work, and as a freelancer I need all the work I can get. But 13 days without so much as a single morning to smack the snooze and a girl can go a little crazy. Today is the final day of this photo shoot and that means that tomorrow will afford me a little sleep time. But I digress…

For now I'm sitting on set trying to appear busy even though I actually have nothing to do. Nothing to do until the final 30 minutes before we have to vacate the studios, at which time it will be a mad scramble for me to pack up five shots worth of props, slap the proper label on the box or bag and arrange for the appropriate messenger service to come and whisk it away before anyone can rummage through it all and score a sweet little something or other under my nose. All while the client and photographers head off for a $150 a person dinner at some great spot in the city.

Again I digress… onto my impression…

Editors note: This is a two parter even though it doesn't seem like it! The first part was written on Saturday the 15th and the following was written today the 23rd. I had planned to write it all last Saturday, but promptly after we finished the shoot I came down with an insane cold that holed me up in my cold apartment for five days unable to climb down from my loft let alone write my blog.

First impression:

I'm amazed at the ability of hundreds of people to squeeze themselves into a tube that hurtles itself through the ground at breakneck speed and yet not look one another in the eye. It's hilarious actually! It's all so anonymous, and in a city were anonymous is not hard to come by considering we normal folk share the streets with actors, musicians and models, it's amazing to me that one can get more anonymous. But the subway affords that easily. Eyes sweep the advertisements that line the space above our heads, then they close and magically reopen focused on the ground. There seems to be this invisible zone that no civilized person would dare allow their gaze to wander - the zone occupied by our bodies. I say civilized because I'm not including the crazies who stare at you and continue to stare even after you have looked them directly in the eye as a sort of challenge. Nope, doesn't work. Not that I should be surprised that one who stares would not be intimidated by a stare down. Those who "sub stare" as I now refer to it in my head, can appear to be totally normal while waiting in the station. And if you saw them on the streets you'd have no idea they enjoy such a depraved hobby as staring at people on the subway. But no, they are not normal - they stare!

The non-starers may also spend time fascinated by their cell phones despite the fact that they do not work underground. Those with iPhones can do this without looking dumb (in my iPhone owning opinion) because our magical hand held sent from the gods device does much more than relay a voice all over the world. I can pop bubble wrap, listen to music, take notes, organize my calendar, look at pictures, and any infinite number of etceteras, all while not staring at people on the subway. But come on, you pleebs with your flip phones, your not fooling anyone!

I've grown to love my time underground. There is something soothing about the way the train moves (except when it stops and starts!) and it allows for some wind down time like no hour commute from Alexandria ever could. Luckily my sister lives on the same line as me, the good old L train, so it makes my life easy when traveling to and fro to Williamsburg. Me, myself, I live in Bushwick. Now if you don't live in New York or one of its lovely boroughs, then you do not know Bushwick. Let me say this - living in Bushwick gives me "street cred" as someone pointed out to me on my last photo shoot. It is quite obvious that I am several years ahead of the gentrification curve, no matter how high the prices are at Northeast Kingdom, and that very fact is made quite obvious by the stares I receive each day on my trek to and from the subway. No big deal, I smile my white girl grin each time I think it will keep me from getting shot, and the rest of the time I look down as if to apologize for my whiteness. Note to my neighbors: I did not move here because I am some rich whitey who wants to take over your neighborhood! I mean really, if I had money do you think I would subject myself to the creepy guys that hang around C-Town on the corner of Wyckoff and Hart - I think not.

Change of plans!

2008-09-29T10:13:00.002-04:00

The plan had been to move overseas and have some adventures while teaching in South Korea. The plan has changed! I'm moving somewhere even crazier – New York City! I will be moving as soon as I can find an apartment, which in New York could mean months! I'm going to live in Brooklyn where the rents are still reasonable and my sister and her hubs live. I'm going to freelance, so that means that I will soon become a union gal – who knew that would ever happen!

So stick with me as I transition and I promise as soon as life settles back down I will get back to baking and blogging!

An explanation

2008-08-31T14:21:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I know I haven't been posting all that often, and that there hasn't been a book update in over a month, but I have a really good excuse! My thoughts and time have been completely wrapped up in my new big plans!

I've been spending ALL of my time working towards a teaching certification in English as a second language, and once I'm done in the next two or three days, I will be getting ready to move abroad to teach! I've always wanted to live overseas and travel and see the world, and this is the perfect way for me to start my adventure. I'm not sure where I will end up living, but my thoughts and intentions are focused on Thailand, so think Thailand thoughts for me!

No worries, the book is still one of my top priorities, it has just been pushed to the back burner so that I can get myself set to move. Once things settle in, I will get back to writing every day and posting updates when I can!

I'M SO EXCITED TO MOVE OVERSEAS!!!

Daring Bakers Challenge

2008-08-31T10:47:00.005-04:00

This months Challenge was hosted by MeetaK of What's for Lunch Honey & Tony, who kindly choose Chocolate Eclairs! I'm a big fan, so I was excited about this challenge to say the least.

I decided to wait until all of my family was having our annual end of summer gathering, mainly so that I wouldn't eat them all myself. The recipe we used comes from Pierre Herme, a famous French baker. Well as luck would have it, my brother-in-law has actually eaten Chocolate Eclairs in Paris at Pierre Herme's patisserie ! Why does this always happen to me? When we were making Dorie Greenspans Perfect Party Cake, which requires a French Meringue Buttercream icing, a family friend who just happens to also be a French pastry chef (!) stopped by that day! I mean really, can't a girl get a break!

So I made the Pate a Choux which turned out wonderfully, and was remarkably easy as far as I am concerned. My eclairs baked up perfectly, but they required more time than the recipe called for, which always seems to happen to me. I decided to make a typical vanilla pastry cream, which I adore, and to top them with the traditional chocolate sauce.

I enjoyed making the eclairs a lot, and I'm thankful to Meeta & Tony for picking such a great recipe so that I could test my baking skills yet again! Check out Meeta's blog for the recipe!

Addtion: I was doing too many things yesterday while posting my challenge, and I totally forgot to put in that my brother-in-law loved my eclairs! He said they were just as good as any others that he has had, even in Paris - but I think he was just being nice!!

Operation August!

2008-08-28T15:44:00.004-04:00

It's time again for Operation Baking GALS! This month there were lots of different soldiers to choose from! Susan's blog was littered with great posts about several different soldiers - the host for that soldier would provide some background info on their choice, and then we could pick who we wanted to bake for. Susan herself was baking for a group of six soldiers who have been stationed in Fallujah for some time and who don't really get any love from back home, so I decided to join her group, Team DoughMessTic!

As usual, I sent along some butter press cookies because they are one of my absolute favorites. And this month I also sent along some yummy swirl brownies, which I hope make it to Iraq in edible condition!

As always, if you're interested in baking for our brave men and women serving in Iraq & Afghanistan, check out Susan Wetzel's blog Operation Baking GALS - it's really easy to get started, and there's still time to bake in August, so go check it out! Things are really exploding for this group, which is really wonderful! It's such a great way to feel like you are making a difference for our troops!

A big thanks from Iraq!

2008-08-11T13:04:00.003-04:00

I got an email from Jason in Iraq today, and since I promised to share, here it is –

Kathryn

I wanted to send a quick note to say 'THANK YOU' for sending us some homemade goodies! You folks will never realize how much Soldiers appreciate your kind gestures. Just the simple act of baking goodies and mailing them across the world means more to us than you'll ever know.

Also, I very much appreciate you taking the time to write me a note. Your nephew is very lucky to have such a great aunt in his life. I promise you that we Soldiers will do our very best to protect him from the dangerous men who wish harm on the American People. I assure you that under our watch your nephew has nothing to be afraid of. I am fortunate enough to serve alongside men and woman who value Duty, Honor, and Country, more than their own lives. Each day I am humbled and amazed at the heroics of American Soldiers.

Thanks again. Please take care of that nephew of yours. I know he has a bright future.

Best wishes,
Jason

We're gearing up for round two in the next few weeks, so if your interested in baking, click on the Operation Baking GALS picture in the sidebar and it will take you to the blog where you sign up to help out! I'm baking for a group of six soldiers outside of Fallujah and I'm really happy to send them some yummy treats!!

My first package for the troops!

2008-08-05T15:59:00.005-04:00

I sent out my first Operation Baking GALS package to Jason and friends in Iraq today and it felt really good! I made about nine dozen cookies, but only around seven would fit into the containers I had, so poor little me, I've got some extra cookies to eat.

I made pecan nut balls that are yummy mainly because they have a thick outer coating of powdered sugar. I also made butter cookies with my handy dandy cookie press, which are sweet, vanilla-y and buttery - who could ask for more!

The woman at the post office said it could take four days to two weeks for the cookies to get there, so obviously I'm praying for the earlier delivery. I'm not sure exactly where our cookie man is stationed, but hopefully he's close to one of the air bases and not too far out in the middle of nowhere.

If I hear anything back I'll be sure to post it!

Pecan nut balls

Butter cookies

Operation Baking GALS

2008-07-31T21:22:00.005-04:00

While roaming around the Daring Bakers message boards this evening I came across an awesome thing – Operation Baking GALS (Give A Little Support!)!

It all started not very long ago with Susan from She's becoming doughmesstic – she decided to send out an email to just a few foodie friends and ask if they might want to bake something and then send it off to her cousin Jason in Iraq. Little did she know that it would grow and grow and grow!

Here is the concept – we bake it, we ship it to Iraq to Jason, and he shares them with all his buddies (or he will get too fat to stay in Iraq – so wait, maybe that's a good plan!) Sure the men and women over there need other stuff in care packages as well, however, homemade baked goods are way better than chapstick etc.

So I'm hitching my little wagon up to Operation Baking GALS! I'm going to bake some yummy stuff on Sunday (after I sell all my stuff in a yardsale on Friday and Saturday! And my oven gets fixed!) and then it's off to Iraq to get gobbled up!

If your interested in joining up – and why wouldn't you be? – here is the blog that's been set up to handle all the insane traffic that Susan is getting. There is a link where you can email her and she can further instruct you on what to do!

I'm so excited to help out! This is such a great way to show our beloved troops how much we care!

Daring Bakers Challenge

2008-07-31T10:03:00.002-04:00

I wanted to make the Daring Bakers Challenge so very much this month, but I made the mistake of putting it off until the last few days! My plan was to bake Monday and assemble Tuesday, and then that plan came to a crashing halt on Sunday when the oven (just a year old) decided to quit on me! There is only one guy in town who works on my type of oven and he can't get here until Friday! I'm so bummed! I'm going to try and make this cake very soon though because it sounds and looks delicious!!

Make sure you check out the Daring Bakers Blogroll to see what other members created!

Another book update!

2008-07-24T13:28:00.003-04:00

It's been a little while, so I figured I should post some more from the book! This is the beginning of a chapter set in New York City where the main character Eddie is working for one of her sisters for a week on a photo shoot.

“I don’t think my feet have ever hurt this bad in my entire life,” I said to Anna as I stood outside of Pen’s building trying to get some fresh air. I pressed my cell phone tight to my ear so that I could hear her response over the trash truck that was backing down North 3rd Street, beeping like nothing I had ever heard beep before.

“Why do your feet hurt?” she asked.

“Because their floor is concrete and I’ve been standing around doing work for days on end,” I said, glaring at the trash truck in an effort to hurt its feelings.

“What is that horrible noise?” she asked.

“The freaking trash truck. If you think this is bad, try listening to it at freaking four a.m. when it does the same thing while your trying to sleep. I really don’t know how they live here, it’s not possible to relax!” I exclaimed, my nerves already frazzled after only a few days.

“Are you having a good time? And what are you doing outside anyway, you’re not smoking are you?” Anna asked in parent-like tone of voice.

“No! Are you kidding, never again!” I said.

“Ok good, it’s just that that used to be the only reason you would be standing outside of her building, so I was just making sure,” she said.

“No, we needed milk and I offered to walk to the store because I needed to get the hell out of there. I used to think their loft was big, but now it feels like all three of us are living in a shoe box!” I said as I smiled at the guy who was walking his bulldog past me. “And there are no doors to close! I don’t know how they do it, how they don’t kill each other!”

“Sorry about that,” the dog walking guy said as he began to hurry away.

“Sorry for what?” I said looking around and then down. A small stream, growing larger by the second, of dog urine was flowing down from a puddle the size of baby swimming pool right in front of the two bags of groceries I had sitting by my feet. Before I could grab them fast enough, both bags were wet on the bottom.

“Oh my god! I’ve gotta go Anna, some assholes dog just peed all over the place and the food is sitting in piss!” I screeched as the guy broke into a semi-jog to get away from me.

“Are you serious? That is disgusting! Why would anyone do that? What are you going to do?” she said, hours away in friendly suburbia where no one would allow their dog to urinate near someone else’s something.

“I don’t know, I gotta go, I’m sorry,” I said as I looked around in a vain attempt to find a solution among the filth of North 3rd Street.

“Okay, I’m sorry Eddie, I hope the rest of your trip goes better. I love you,” Anna said sincerely.

“Thanks, I love you too. I’ll call you later in the week,” I said. We said our goodbyes and then I shoved my cell phone into my pocket. I looked down at the two bags and wondered how in the world I was going to lug one container of lactose free organic milk, four bottles of Fiji water, two bags of chips, one container of humus and a box of cookies up the three flights of industrial stairs that loomed before me.

I pulled all the thankfully dry items out of their soaked bags and placed them out of the floodplain that had developed around my feet. Then I picked up the wet bags and held them out at arms length as I walked to the nearby dumpster, saying, “Ew, ew, ew, ew,” the entire time and praying that the pee wouldn’t drip on me. I stood over my hoard and dialed Pen’s house line, which neither of them answered. Then I called Aidan’s cell, and he finally picked up after four rings.

“Yeah?” he said, sounding annoyed.

“Can you come help me, some guy let his dog piss all over my grocery bags and now I have to carry all this shit upstairs without bags and I can’t do it!”

“Are you fucking serious?” he said to me. “Some dude let his dog piss all over Eddie’s bags,” he said to Penelope. “God I hate this fucking city, I’ll be right down.”

I shoved my cell phone back into my pocket and glared at the corner where the asshole and his bitch had disappeared around. It seemed to take Aidan an eternity to come down and help me.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me! There is no way one dog pissed that much!” Aidan said as he surveyed the scene after finally showing up to rescue me.

“It was a bulldog!” I said, just at that moment realizing how much more absurd that made things.

“There’s no way,” he said as he began to pick up the milk and cookies. “Does this shit have piss on it?”

“That makes it sound even worse,” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You said ‘Does this shit have piss all over it?’ ” I said staring at him, wondering why he wasn’t picking up what I was putting down.

“What?” he said in his special exasperated way.

“Oh my god, why are you not getting this?” I said as I picked up the last bottle of Fiji water and began to follow him to the door. “You said, ‘Does this SHIT have PISS all over it?’ ” I said, placing great emphasis on the words shit and piss.

“Yeah, I still don’t get it,” he said as we began to climb the endless stairs.
Three flights later he still didn’t get it. “Never mind, forget it!” I exclaimed, now doubting the humor that I thought had been evident.

When we finally reached the door Aidan knocked with his foot and Penelope opened the door a few seconds later. Just as I, the last one through the door, was trying to shut it quickly behind me, Sophie, their sneaky black cat, squeezed by and made a mad dash down the long hallway. Luckily there was nowhere for her to go. Aidan put the milk, cookies, chips and humus down and went running after her.

“Freaking insane cat!” he said with a smile and a laugh a few minutes later as he deposited her on the couch and then walked back over to his computer and sat down. Within seconds he was fully immersed in whatever he had been doing before and he returned to ignoring us.

I spent the next seven hours making paper flowers while Penelope perfected every last little detail for the party set that would be shot on Tuesday. I literally made several hundred flowers out of all different types of paper. Some were crafted from crepe paper, while others from hard card stock. There was marbleized paper and flowery paper and polka dot paper and pretty patterned paper and even ugly patterned paper.

And then there was the paper cut to end all paper cuts.

It happened so quickly and there was so much damn paper surrounding me that I have no idea which behemoth three-foot by four-foot sheet was the culprit! My money is still on the green marbleized bastard, but I have little evidence to back up my claims.

The paper sliced through the tip of my right index finger as if it longed to remove the whole damn thing from my hand. Blood instantly oozed and dripped as I grabbed my finger and squeezed it tightly. Not wanting to know, but unable to resist, I slightly spread the two halves of my finger apart in order to see how deep the cut was, and only then did I scream out in agony.

I’m famous for fainting – well in my family that is, not nationwide – and so I can tell the instant it’s about to happen. The sound that had moments before been clear in my ears was now seemingly coming from somewhere far off in another world and my vision became obscured by gold and silver sparkles. There was no denying it, I was going down.

Concrete floors may look cool, but they do little to break your fall except threaten to break you more.

Happy Birthday Brayden!

2008-07-12T21:16:00.005-04:00

I had the joy of making my nephew Brayden's birthday cake for his party today. He is really into cars, trains, tractors and motorcycles, so my sister had a trains and cars party theme. Just thought I would share the cute cake… I'm proud of it and everyone said it was yummy!

His Dark Materials

2008-07-11T11:17:00.002-04:00

I finished His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman last night and the critics were right when they said it was the last great work of fiction in the 20th century. It's truly a wonderful collected works including The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife & The Amber Spyglass. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys fantasy and anyone who has yet to discover that they do. This work will bring you into the fantastical fold if only you give it a chance!

It's rare that Fantasy writers are able to communicate love in a heart aching way - most of the time it's done one such a large scale, with characters that are stoic and brave, therefore loosing the tenderness of true love in the scope of the story - but Pullman has pulled it off.

Here is my favorite moment in the collected works… I cry each time I read it. I know you must know the characters to really feel the moment, but I hope it translates how wonderful of a writer Pullman is!

"I will love you forever, whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again…"

"I'll be looking for you, Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those specs of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight…"

Daring Bakers

2008-06-29T21:05:00.003-04:00

My Daring bakers June challenge will be posted shortly! I am on vacation and trying to stay as far away from my computer as possible! I promise to post my disaster in the next few days! Check back soon!

Here is a sneak peak of my "braid." My sister Rebecca says it looks "rustic" and delicious. I'm still deciding whether or not I'm offended!

Or maybe not

2008-06-23T23:01:00.002-04:00

I got two comments from two lovely Daring Bakers on the Swoon excerpt that I put up the other day and both seemed to want more where that came from. Karen from Do Better wanted to know what was wrong with the guy and so I figured it was only fair of me to fill her in! And Clumbsy Cookie said she wanted to keep reading, so how could I deny her that!

So here is a little more from that yet to be titled chapter. This portion, as well as the one I posted the other day, takes place in a train station. Eddie, the main character, is on her way to New York from D.C. for a freelance job in the Big Apple. I picked up right where the other post left off.

“Have you ever been to Philadelphia before?” he asked.

“Um, yeah I actually grew up right outside the city in Bucks County,” I said, realizing I had momentarily forgotten this fact due to the hotness spell I was under.

“I’m from Bucks County too! I went to CB East, where did you go?” he asked with a stunned but happy look on his face.

“Oh my god! I went to Council Rock! I cannot believe you went to East! Didn’t we always kick your asses in football?” I joked, having no idea if we had ever in fact kicked their asses in football.

A dark cloud seemed to pass behind his eyes, but it went as quickly as it came and I soon forgot about it. He stuttered for a moment and then said, “Uh no, definitely not. There was never a time when Council Rock beat me in football.”

“Oh you played in high school?” I asked, not really caring, but pretending to.

“Yeah, I was all state! Bobby Masterson, don’t you remember my name? You gotta remember my name!” he said enthusiastically.

“Oh, um,” to lie or not to lie, “no, I’m sorry, I don’t. I wasn’t really all that into football in high school,” I said.

“But you are now though, right?” he asked with an eager look on his face.

“Oh totally!” I lied. “Go Skins!”

“Go Skins! You’re a Philly girl rooting for a Washington team?” he said, shock and disappointment spreading at lightening speed across his handsome features.

“Nooo! Of course not! I was just teasing,” I said, rolling my eyes in a goofy way.

“So you’re an Eagles fan then right?” he prompted.

“Totally!” I said, grateful that he told me where it was my loyalties should lay.

“Phew, that could have been awkward! I meet this beautiful girl in the train station and she turns out to be a Skins fan, what a nightmare!” he joked.

I’m sorry, did he just call me beautiful!? Today I met the boy I’m gonna marry!

“Nope, not a Skins fan, how could I be coming from Philly?” I laughed, shaking my head and rolling my eyes while fluttering my eyelashes at the same time. Freaking exhausting!

“I had no idea you were a football fan Eddie. All those months we spent together and I only ever heard anything about NASCAR,” Dr. Johnson chimed in despite the fact that my back was turned to him.

All I could think of was Son of a Bitch! Which then made me feel guilty because I had just learned that his mother had Alzheimer’s. How about Bastard! Yes, I could see no problem with Bastard! You Bastard!

“Who is this guy?” my new hometown hottie asked, looking back and forth between Dr. Johnson and I.

“I’m her doctor, Dr. Johnson,” he answered before I could, “and you are?” he added as he reached his hand across me to offer it up for a shake.

Hottie stuck his out as well and their hands met for a strange display of male bravado that more closely resembled an arm wrestle than a handshake. The young lioness inside me leapt with joy, while licking her chops as the two male lions roared to determine who would take possession of her. Wait, something about that is not right. What is unsettling here, the fact that I’m excited that Dr. Johnson is one of the male lions, or the fact that I am excited about the idea of one these two men taking possession of me? Of course I could just revel in the joy that hottie male lion from Philly seems to have won the wrestle shake as his smile seems to be larger then Dr. Johnson. My, his mane is thick and shiny. Um, wait is that hair gel in his mane? Oh well, I can change that given a few weeks.

“Bobby Masterson, good to meet you doc. So why is it that you are traveling with your doctor? Are you sick or something?” he said, turning his attention back to me.

“Oh gosh no,” eyelashes fluttering, “we just happened to be at the train station at the same time, and he sat down beside me. That’s all.”

“He’s not your gyno or anything is he?” he snorted.

Did he just say Gyno? Oh come on, are you kidding me? I have just been taken possession by a handsome male lion that uses the word gyno? What went wrong I ask you? Who or what far off in the cosmos ordered this cruel twist of fate, and why did Aphrodite not intervene?

“I believe the term you are looking for is Gynecologist, but no I am not her gynecologist. I was an ER doctor, but I’m not anymore. And what is it that you do Bobby?” He said Bobby as if it were an insult.

“I own my own business, selling tools,” Bobby answered.

Oh I like tools. “Wait, when did you leave the ER?” I suddenly said, turning towards Dr. Johnson.

“About a month ago. I’ve decided to specialize in Oncology.”

“What’s Oncology?” Bobby asked.

All right, so he wears gel in his hair, says Gyno and doesn’t know what Oncology is. I think Prince Charming just got stripped of his royal title. Now the question remains, is there enough Charming left to cover up the stupidity. God lets hope so!

Dr. Johnson smiled, but he might as well have roared to alert the jungle/train station of his moment of triumph. “The practice of Oncology refers to the treatment of cancer,” he answered, a bit less smugly then I had expected.

“Ohh, gotcha!” Bobby said. “Wait, so you have cancer?” he said, turning his attention back to me.

“Um no, I had a car accident a while ago and he was my doctor in the Emergency Room,” I answered, stretching out the words Emergency Room in reference to Dr. Johnsons mention of being an ER doctor.

Swoon

2008-06-20T16:07:00.003-04:00

Just another excerpt of my writing. I'm in the groove and wish I could keep writing, but I have to go meet my college girl friends for dinner and drinks! Alas, the life of a writer is never dull (except maybe five days out of the week!)

“Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” I looked up to see an extremely hot guy standing next to me, pointing at the open seat next to me.

“No, no one at all,” I said sweetly with a smile and a small eyelash fluttering.

“Great,” he said, returning the smile. “Where are you heading?” he asked as he sat down.

“New York,” I said, “and you?”

“Philadelphia. It’s where I grew up. My best friend is getting married this weekend, and I’m the best man,” he said enthusiastically.

“Awe, how sweet,” I said for no real reason at all.

He flashed me another great smile, showing off his perfectly straight, white teeth. “Yeah, I’m really excited. He’s marrying a great girl and I’m really happy for him. Course this now makes me the last of my childhood friends to not be married, but what can you do.”

“Guys actually think about that kind of stuff?” I said, my mouth dropping open a little bit, which obviously wasn’t all that attractive and was corrected quickly with another smile.

“Sure,” he said. “Well I guess not all guys. But I do, I’m 31 and I definitely thought I would be married by now.”

Hm, 31, hot and wants to get married. And most importantly he is sitting right next to me. And actually even more importantly than that he is smiling at me. ME! Thirty-one-year-old hot guy who wants to get married is smiling at me! There must be some sort of happiness alarm that I should be sounding right now. Oh, I know! Church bells! Not that I want to get married in a church, but still it seems fitting. Suddenly the song Today I met the boy I’m going to marry started playing in my head.

“I actually thought I would have kids by now too,” he added, garnering that sad head tilt half smile half frown kind of reaction from me, also known as Swoon! He’s all I wanted all my life and even more!

“Do any of your friends have kids?” I asked, turning towards him a little bit and gently moving a piece of hair away out of my eyes.

“Yeah a couple of them do. I love playing with them. My friend Joey just had a little baby boy. He’s only four weeks old. I was there where he was born. I mean not in the room or anything, but at the hospital and I was one of the first ones to hold him. It was so cool to see someone that new!” He smiled at me and the music started playing.

“That is so sweet!” I squealed, barely able to contain my excitement over this man. This hot 31-year-old wants to get married and have babies and is smiling at me man!

“And my sister’s kids are awesome, being an uncle is the greatest thing in the whole world. I never knew it could be so cool to watch someone grow and learn new things. But watching my niece and nephew is like watching the world unfold in front of my very eyes.” Here comes the bride when he walked through the door!

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating… um muffins

2008-06-11T17:18:00.008-04:00

A few months back I had been on the search for the perfect chocolate cupcake, which I eventually was able to put together. But lately my new quest has been for the perfect muffin. Don't ask why… it just has been.

So last week I made the boyfriend some blueberry muffins. They were good, but they didn't rise all that much, which bummed me out a bit. The next day I used that same recipe to make strawberry muffins, and I filled the cups higher in hopes that they would happily mound up some more. No go. The flavor was there, but the batter just wasn't giving me what I wanted.

I always find the Foodnetwork website is a great place to go searching for lots of different versions of the same recipe. The recipe I used a few days ago came from Gourmet magazine I believe, so I was surprised it didn't turn out to my liking. I came across an Ina Garten recipe that I figured I should try out. After all, it was the Barefoot Contessa that provided me with the base for my perfect chocolate cupcake… maybe she was a bit of a muffin maven as well!

I decided that instead of just using blueberrys, I would throw in some strawberries as well. I wasn't really trying to be patriotic, but when I coated the two fruits in a bit of flour so that they wouldn't sink to the bottom of the batter, the National Anthem did start playing in my head!

Oh say can you see! By the dawns early light!

The recipe called for sour cream, as most of Ina's baked goods do, but I wasn't really up for wasting my $4.13 a gallon gasoline to run to the store for just sour cream. I had organic plain yogurt so I decided that would substitute nicely… and who can scoff at cutting a few calories whilst baking, not I!

Hey batter batter batter!

I was supposed to get 16 muffins out of the batter, and just like always for me, I got 24! I don't care what the recipe says, I always get more out of it. And believe me, I filled these babies up to the top! The first batch came out of the oven and while it had risen nicely, it spread out over the muffin tin giving me that flattened type of top. I'm a rounded muffin kinda of girl, so I was a teensy bit disappointed.

I'm trying to be more environmentally friendly these days (as evident by my unmentionables currently sunning themselves in the backyard!) so since the first batch took thirty minutes, I figured I would turn on my convection fan and try and speed things up. Yes it occured to me that using the convection would mean I was using more energy. However (!), it would mean I could turn the oven off sooner, therefore pumping less heat into the kitchen, requiring the air conditioning to do a little less work in order to cool the house. See how nicely I justified that!

I got another benefit from my convection – the muffins rounded out nicely on the top instead of spreading out.

These muffins taste delicious! The combination of blueberries and strawberries is wonderful - I highly recommend it! Once again Ina has done me proud! Unfortunately for my boyfriend, he is out of town for the week and these will surely be gone by the time he gets back! Poor boyfriend! That's what he gets for going out of town for a week ;)

Muffins out of the sun!

Blueberry & Strawberry muffins

adapted from Ina Gartens recipe for Blueberry Muffins

12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
8 ounces (about 1 cup) sour cream or yogurt
1/4 cup milk
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup strawberries, cut into bite sized pieces

1 cup blueberries (watch for stems!)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Place 16 paper liners in muffin pans.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. With the mixer on low speed, add the eggs 1 at a time, then add the vanilla, sour cream, and milk. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. With the mixer on low speed add the flour mixture to the batter and beat until just mixed. Fold in the blueberries with a spatula and be sure the batter is completely mixed.
Scoop the batter into the prepared muffin pans, filling each cup just over the top, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the muffins are lightly browned on top and a cake tester comes out clean.  

Muffins in the sun!

Paperclip Pig says:

2008-06-11T12:47:00.006-04:00

Why thank you Paperclip Pig! You are the most lovely, encouraging desk top organizer I've ever known!

Eat, Pray, Love

2008-06-11T12:21:00.007-04:00

For quite some time people have been telling me to read Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love. Some have felt that the book is similar to my own despite the fact that my main character barely leaves her house let alone travels around the world. But still the message is the same, falling in love with yourself is really what the ultimate goal is.

Last fall I was assisting my sister Rebecca and her husband Patrick with a photo shoot/advertising campaign for a friend of theirs who owns a dress company called Simple Silhouettes. I was their style assistant and they hired another young woman as their photo assistant. Her name was Marlene, and although she was quite a bit younger than me, we connected on a few levels, which made the week of work a little more fun.

Marlene was the first person to bring Eat, Pray, Love to my attention. She said she had received the book from an acquaintance who felt she should read it. And then Marlene told me she would like to pass it on to me. She brought the book in the next day with the instructions to pass it on when I came across someone who could benefit from it's message. I was really flattered and happily planned to read the book soon and pass it on to the next deserving young woman.

Well life happened for awhile and then I was reminded of the book again, which had been sitting dormant on my bookshelves for months, and I finally pulled it out and read the darn thing. It was wonderful and it aided me on my current journey in many different ways.

I just wanted to share a few of my favorite lines from the book… they inspired me and I hope they will do the same for you.

"You've got to stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."

I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on water.

Let go and watch the stars come out—on the outside and on the inside.

I found the answer—you can finish the business yourself, from within yourself. It's not only possible, it's essential.

I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.

– All excerpts from Elizabeth Gilberts Eat, Pray, Love

More book… less cook!

2008-05-30T14:27:00.004-04:00

So as my time winds down on my year off from the real world I have been writing a lot more and baking a lot less, as you can see from my latest postings. So I figured I would give you another bit from my book. Please keep in mind that these look-sees I post have not been professionally edited, so there are mistakes in there that will one day get fixed. I'm a writer, not a copyeditor (much to dismay of my current freelance boss!)!

Obviously this tidbit has been taken from the center of a chapter. The beginning part is being kept a secret for a reason, as I don't want to give away to much on my blog! Why ever would you buy the book if you already know what happens? So if you are confused at the start, I meant for you to be ;)

“Well she pulled this curtain around us both, even though no one else was there, because at some point the other woman must have left without me realizing it. But so she pulls this dark purple curtain around us, which I notice has those little mirrors puffy painted all over it. Do you remember those?” Liv shook her head yes and I continued. “I used to have an entire outfit with them on it. I remember it, it was grey stretch pants and a grey sweatshirt and the mirrors were surrounded with white puffy paint. I thought I was the shit in that outfit!” I paused to take another sip, and then said, “I got it at the Bucks County Mall on Street Road. They had a bunch of different colors but I remember thinking grey was really sophisticated.”
“Um hello! Enough eighties reminiscing, back to the psychic!” Liv exclaimed as she rolled her eyes at me.
“Oh sorry,” I said taking one last sip before putting my drink back down. “So she takes out this wooden flute thing and tells me the blow into it four times high and four times low, and of course once again I had no idea what she meant. But you know me, I didn’t want to seem like a freaking idiot in front of the psychic, so I blew four times high and four times low.”
Liv spit out a bit of her food with a laugh and said, “How did you do that?”
I laughed too and said, “I have no idea, but I must have done it right because she got a big smile on her face and said ‘Good, excellent, good!’ and clapped her hands practically right in front of my face. Then she pulls out some sage and lights it, and it is literally on fire, like I was expecting Smokie the Bear to come in and intervene. So she blows it out and bits of burnt leaf go all over me. Then she waves it around my face and head and starts chanting something under her breath.”
“Why do you have a care bear band aid on your arm?” Liv asked.
“What?” I stammered, totally caught off guard by her change of subject.
“Why do you have a care bear band aid on your arm?” Liv asked again.
“You just now noticed that?” I replied.
“Yes.”
“We have been here for forever, and you are just now realizing that I have a care bear band aid on my arm.”
“Yes! Why is it there, and why do you own care bear band aids?” Liv said, reaching for her cigarettes after filling up on fried onion.
“I had some weird pimply thing on my arm and I picked at it and it freaked me out so I put some Neosporin on it and a band aid, and now it’s not freaking me out anymore,” I answered, myself not full of onion, as I reached for the last bite.
“But why the care bears?”
“Because the purple care bear on the box was smiling at me when I was in Target and you know me, I cannot refuse anything purple nor anything bear, so I brought him home. Low and behold the box contained bands aids, so not only did I get a purple cardboard bear, but first aid as well.”
“You are a crackhead!” Liv howled.
“Yes, yes I am, and that is why you love me in only the way that you can!” I replied with a smile and a chew.
Fred appeared and took away our now demolished appetizer and informed us that he would put in our lunch order now. Feeling like I couldn’t eat another bite, I groaned, leaned back in my chair and started rubbing my stomach.
“I love how you rub your stomach like that and yet back in college you broke up with Tommy what’s his name because he rubbed his stomach after he ate,” Liv said, making me choke on the sip of margarita I had just taken.
I sat there painfully coughing as I laughed and tried to decide how best to defend myself. “Oh my god, how do you remember these things!” I said through another cough.
“I’m like a tree,” she said with a triumphant smile.
“What?” I laughed.
“I’m like a tree, trees are old and have long memories,” Liv said, still smiling.
“What the F are you talking about?” I said.
“That’s what they say,” Liv said, sounding a bit less sure of herself this time.
“Who are ‘they,’ ” I questioned.
“Those people,” Liv said with a doubtful half smile.
I sat there laughing and trying to figure out for the life of me what she could be referring to when it hit me. “Ooohhh mmmyyyy Goddd, do you mean elephants?” I busted out.
She sat there looking from side to side, as slowly a big smile erupted on her face, and finally she laughed. “Yes, I believe I do.”
“Now who is the crackhead?” I laughed.
“That’s why we are perfect for each other!” Liv said, raising her margarita to toast our frienship.
I lifted my glass and tapped it against hers, making that clinking sound I love. I took a sip as Liv put her glass down, prompting me to protest. “Um excuse me, you clink, you drink woman!”
“Sorry, sorry!” she said in her mock annoyed as she picked up her glass and remedied the offense.

– Copyrighted 2008 Shoo Elephant Shoo

More where that came from

2008-05-19T17:21:00.007-04:00

Yet another sampling of my book for your reading pleasure. The writing has been going well, and things are finally starting to make a little bit more sense to me, which is comforting considering I only have two and a half months left before I'm supposed to be finished! I'm confident that things will work out and I will be able to work non-stop until I'm done, so the fears of going back to work so to speak have subsided nicely!

“I told you, you couldn’t refuse Kohrs!” Pen said. We were looking out over the ocean even though we couldn’t see it by this time of the night.
“I’m fully capable of refusing Kohrs Pen, I’m not a freaking heifer,” I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth.
“Cause I was calling you a heifer?” Pen said sounding exasperated. “What the hell Eddie?”
“No, I know you weren’t. But when you say I’m incapable of refusing ice cream it just makes me feel like I’m fat and totally unable to turn down junk food,” I said, trying to make my voice sound calm in an effort to turn the placating on Pen.
“You are not fat at all, you look great! You didn’t even gain weight when you quit smoking! That’s amazing everyone gains weight when they quit smoking. Seriously, you are not fat,” she said, taking a lick of her vanilla custard.
“Here’s what I don’t get Pen,” I said, a stroke of brilliance smacking me in the forehead. “If you say I’m not fat, then how can you go around acting like you are? You weigh 108 pounds! I weigh thirty more pounds then you, thirty pounds, and yet you say I look great. How am I supposed to believe you when you go around talking about how fat you are?”
Pen momentarily froze, the spoon still in her mouth. It was then scary how astonishingly fast she was able to regain her composure and turn things around to suit her own purpose. “I’m not fat, I know that. But I’m skinny fat. I’m not toned at all, my body is all flabby and I have cellulite all over the place.”
“Every woman alive has cellulite Pen,” I interjected.
“That’s not true, look at her, her thighs have no cellulite on them, and,” she sighed “they don’t even touch,” Pen said, pointing to a passerby.
“First of all, it’s night time, so I cannot actually tell if she has cellulite or not. Second of all, and most importantly, she was like 14 years-old! What the hell, you are 33! Your a woman, not a girl. Why the hell would you want the body of a 14-year-old girl?” I stammered.
“Listen,” Pen said, sounding as if she were my boss and not my sister. “When you get around to getting a husband, you will understand what I’m talking about. You have to be perfect all the time. People tell you that once you are married, you can relax, it’s not true. Trust me, you’ll figure this all out when you get married.”
It was another one of those Ally McBeal moments in life, where you swear you can hear the arrow come whistling towards you, and then thud, it lands directly in your already bleeding heart. When I get around to getting a husband, as if it’s as simple as taking out the trash. When I get around to getting a husband. I wanted to vomit my peanut butter and chocolate mixed custard all over the brand spanking new Ipe boards that were under my feet. A roll of thunder sounded far off to sea, as if nature was backing up my angry, hurt emotions.
Pen having no idea of the damaged she has just caused, continued on. “And besides, I’m holding myself to a different set of standards then I do other people. I do think you look great, I just judge myself differently.”
I threw my half eaten ice cream cone in the trash can conveniently placed right next to our bench, and stared at the back of the no thigh touching 14-year-old girl as she walked, unaware, down the boardwalk. I knew in my heart that it was asinine to compare myself to her, especially since I had just been railroading Pen for doing the same, but for a brief moment I wondered if I would be married if my thighs didn’t, in fact, touch.
We sat there, not saying anything, the thunder becoming louder, for at least five minutes before Pen simply said, “I love you.”
I smiled despite myself, and said “I love you too,” as Pen ate her last spoonful of ice cream, before throwing the cup away in the garbage can on her side of the bench, making me wish I hadn’t thrown mine out already. I thought briefly about going back for more, but the idea of facing that stick figure, snooty teenage girl working the counter again made my desire to vomit return, so I opted not to.
“Let’s go back,” I said, hearing defeat in my own voice.
“Alright,” Pen said.
We both stood up and headed down the boardwalk to the closest ramp to the house. As we neared the darkened windows of the psychic storefront, Pen looked pensively at the sign and said, “Don’t go this year.”
“Why?” I questioned.
“Because, you guys get all caught up in what they say. It just freaks me out, I don’t get why you want to know what’s going to happen,” she answered.
“First off, I don’t get caught up in it, and neither do mom and dad. And second, it’s fun. It’s not like they ever tell you something bad. They just say a bunch of ambiguous stuff that could be true for most people. I don’t get why you are so afraid of it,” I said.
We were back down on the street as the first few raindrops began to fall. A large, fat drop landed directly on my right eye, leading my to quickly wipe it away for fear that my mascara would begin to run. That of course led to wondering why I care if my mascara runs in the rain because it’s raining – everyone is getting wet for Christ’s sake! Why do I care so much?
“I’m not afraid of it. I just think it’s wrong somehow. I don’t know, I just have no desire to hear what they think is going on in my life,” she said as she pulled the small hood of her thin sweatshirt up over her head.
“Well, I get a kick out it. Besides, she might very well tell me that I’m going to marry George Clooney, and I certainly want to be on the look out if there’s any possibility in that!” I said with a straight face.
“Well now that would be useful information wouldn’t it!” Pen said laughing.
We stopped on the sidewalk across from the house and waited for traffic to pass so we could run across the street. The rain had grown heavier in the last few moments, and by the time we made it on to the covered porch we were soaked to the bone and laughing.

Another update from my book!

2008-05-15T23:39:00.002-04:00

Here's another snipit from my book… it's been awhile since I posted anything so I figured it was time to put something out there! Hope you likey!

“So where is the book going?” Liv asked. I was lying in my bed, barely able to move, and she’s asking about the damn book.
“Nowhere. The book is going nowhere. It’s a joke. What the hell was I thinking? I can’t write a damn book!” I said, my voice cracking.
“Did I wake you up?”
“Yeah, but I have to get up anyway.” I said, with no actual plans of getting up.
“It’s 11:30 Eddie, why are you still in bed?” Liv asked, half laughing at me.
“It’s called depression Liv. It doesn’t allow me to get out of bed. It doesn’t allow me to do anything. I’m going to go, I need to get something to eat.” I said, flatly.
“Are you okay?”
“No. I gotta go. I’ll call you soon.” I hung up my cell phone, feeling a little guilty about being so shitty to Liv, and rolled over to fall back asleep.
Within ten seconds my phone rang. Knowing it was her, I didn’t answer it. I didn’t have the energy to talk anymore. I didn’t have the energy to do anything other than slowly move into various positions in my bed.
Another minute went by and my phone beeped, alerting me to a voice mail from a no doubt pissed off Olivia. I didn’t even bother to listen.
I had spent the last two weeks pretending to write in my room, but not actually able to type a single letter, let alone word or sentence. I felt so overwhelmed with the task that I had given myself that I had basically become paralyzed with fear.
Here I was with this unbelievably amazing opportunity in front of me and I was terrified of it. I couldn’t admit it to anyone else though. I couldn’t stand the look of disappointment staring back at me from the mirror, there was no way I could stomach it from someone I loved. So I sat in my room either messing around on the Internet, or reading, or staring out the window and wondering how many other people out there were fucking up their dreams.
When you spend your entire life thinking about this one goal, that if only you had the time, you would achieve it. And then someone gives you the time, and you are completely unable to achieve it because you don’t even know where to begin.
That’s my problem. I have no idea where to begin, and I don’t even know if I have the courage to tell the story I want to tell. I don’t want people to think differently of me because I finally reveal who I am. Even if it’s only a fraction of who I am. What if people hate it? What if they all think I’m insane? What if my dad is angry at me? What if my family is angry that I have spilled our secrets?
But then I keep thinking about how it’s the only story I know to tell. I need to get it up, to get it out. It’s like when you feel like you need to throw up, but you don’t want to actually throw up, but then you wrestle with the idea of knowing that you will feel better once you throw up. It’s exactly like that. Knowing that I want to get this all out, to get it up and out and then be able to move on from it is a great idea in and of its self. However, the actual writing of it is like the physical act of vomiting. It burns and aches as you heave up whatever has been churning in your stomach. It’s painful and you hate doing it, regardless of the fact that you know it’s a means to the very end that you seek. Once you throw up you feel better, and then you can go about your life feeling better.
So here I am with my freaking head in the toilet swallowing hard even though my teeth are sweating and I know I will feel better once I just do the damn thing. Yes it will be disgusting. Yes my throat might burn and my teeth will feel as if I’ve burned all the enamel off of them. But then maybe my insides won’t ache so much anymore. Go on kid, yack it up, brush your damn teeth and and then maybe we can get on with this thing everyone else keeps calling life.
I rolled over, picked up my cell phone, and dialed my voicemail to listen to Livs message. Surprisingly she just sounded worried about me, which made me feel even worse for hanging up on her. I scrolled through the list of saved numbers in my phone (which was depressingly short) and dialed hers once I came upon it.
“I’m sorry I suck,” I said as soon as she said hello.

– Copyrighted 2008 from Shoo Elephant Shoo

The Neverending Story

2008-05-09T15:56:00.005-04:00

I'm reading The Neverending Story by Michael Ende and I'm wondering why it has taken me 29 years to get around to this fantastic tale. Of course the movie is a childhood classic that I watched countless times growing up, but being a lover of the "fantasy" genre, I'm absolutely enjoying the book just as much as I did the film. I'm not far in, so I'm sure my affection will only grow, and when you encounter a passage like that which follows and you know the writer comes from the same internal place as you, you know it will be extremely difficult to read the final words, whether they are happy or sad.

If you have never spent whole afternoons with burning ears and rumpled hair, forgetting the world around you over a book, forgetting cold and hunger –

If you have never read secretly under the bedclothes with a flashlight, because your father or mother or some other well-meaning person has switched off the lamp on the plausible ground that it was time to sleep because you had to get up so early –

If you have never wept bitter tears because a wonderful story has come to an end and you must take your leave of the characters with whom you have shared to many adventures, whom you have loved and admired, for whom you have hoped and feared, and without whose company life seems empty and meaningless –

If such things have no been part of your own experience, you probably won't understand what Bastian did next.

- The Neverending Story by Michael Ende

Needless to say, I completely understand why Bastian did what he did!

Lovely Cheesecake Lollis!

2008-04-30T16:55:00.007-04:00

So I'm super late on my Daring Bakers Challenge! I was out of town for a family funeral on the reveal day, and I'm just now getting around to posting! Sorry to my fellow DB's!

This month's challenge of Cheesecake Pops was hosted by Elle from Feeding My Enthusiasms and Deborah of Taste and Tell. Visit both of their blogs to see what they came up with, as well as for the recipe! The original recipe comes from Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Goey by Jill O'Connor. I decided to bake them for my boyfriend because he loves cheesecake!

A 10 inch pan is the recommended pan size, but after spending so much money on 5 bricks of cream cheese, I wasn't about to go out and buy a new pan. So I bought an aluminum cheapy from the grocery store, and hoped it would do. The pan ended up insanely full, but luckily it didn't rise all the way out of the pan!

Some fellow DBer's had trouble with the bake time, and I did as well. The recipe said it would bake from 35-45 minutes, but mine took over an hour to brown and set up. But it ended up tasting yummy, so that's all that counts.

I had purchased a scoop for this challenge, and was worried when I heard that others had to actually roll the balls out, but was still hopeful that my scooper would work. I was wrong!

I love cheesecake, but it’s not something I particularly wanted to wear. My hands were on the verge of suffocating as every inch of my skin was plastered in cheesecake! I found that washing my hands in between every 7 or 8 balls made them easier to roll, but of course then my soap was covered in cheesecake greasiness that I wasn't sure how I was going get off. How does one clean soap? Is it even possible? I figured that was existential question I would leave for another time when I was not covered in cheesecake and debating on just covering myself in chocolate for my boyfriend.

After chilling the rolled buddies, I melted my wafer chocolate and started dipping. I used milk chocolate, and in hindsight I should have gone with dark chocolate. They were just too sweet with the milk chocolate, but they still tasted delicious! I decided just to drizzle colored chocolate on top to give them a little color and decoration.

I think they turned out cute and they tasted great, so I'm happy with them! I would make them again, but I would let them chill a lot longer before coating them in chocolate, because the sticks started to come loose after a while.

Cheesecake Detritus

Before the oven

After the oven!

Chocolate me please!

Alright, alright, I'll dip you in chocolate, calm down!

Decorate me please!

Alright, alright, I'll decorate you! Sheesh!

Yummy!

And more yummy!

Banana Bread Bakeoff!

2008-04-16T13:33:00.010-04:00

Lorraine at Not Quite Nigella is hosting her first baking event this month and she had the brilliant idea to have a Banana Bread bakeoff! How fun!

I was super excited to participate because I've had 6 frozen, brown bananas in my outside freezer that keep reminding me they were smartly frozen for such a day when I would want to make bread with them! I swear I heard a collective sigh of banana relief when they were plunked down on the counter to defrost.

I decided to use a recipe that I attempted before from The New Best Recipe book for the editors of Cooks Illustrated — it comes from America's Test Kitchens. I've tried lots of recipes from their various books and have always had success. The funny thing is their baking times seem to be off. Last time I made this bread it took ages longer for the tester to come out clean, despite the fact that the outside had browned eons earlier. My kitchen has since had an upgrade and now includes a professional range with a confection option, so I figured this would help me out a lot, and that it might eliminate the extra baking time. Not so! Both loaves are still in the oven, quite brown and yet not producing a clean skewer! UGH!

The recipe has several variations on the traditional, and since I'm a chocolate lover I always go with the version that includes dark chocolate shavings. Since I had six bananas I baked two loaves, and I decided to get creative with the second one. Instead of using just a chocolate bar, I chopped up a Heath Bar and threw that into the mix! Hopefully it will turn out yummy! My boyfriend is getting the regular chocolate loaf, and I'll be stuck with the Heath one, so if it doesn't turn out well, I'm the only one suffering.

Chocolate or Heath Bar – it's a toss up!

Things were going well; I had whisked my dry ingredients together, mushed up my squishy bananas, added the yogurt in and then just as I was melting the butter and reaching for the eggs, I **GASP** discovered that I had no eggs!!!!! I live in the boondocks, I don't have a neighbor to which I could beg an egg or two off of. So I was doomed to make a trip to the store. There is a great organic farm right down the road that I tried to go to, but they weren't open today so it was off to the grocery store. What a pain!

After I returned, I finished up with the wet ingredients and then set to folding the two groups together. I like a batter that requires me to work it the old fashioned way. Don't get me wrong, I adore my KitchenAid, and if I had to give it up it would be like losing a limb. But there is something nice about doing the work all by yourself. So fold, fold fold, fold and fold some more later my bread batter was already to slip into the oven. Off it went to have some hot, steamy fun in there.

And now it's all done. It just took an extra 15 minutes is all! Oh well, as long as it tastes good, that's all that matters in the world of baking! I still haven't tasted it yet because it's cooling and I wouldn't want to interrupt it while it chills out for a bit.

And now I have tasted it – and it was well worth the effort of driving to the store for eggs! Yum!

Eww… it's a wonder how they make such yummy bread!

After the slaughter!

I'm always amazed that they come out looking like this when they

have been so brown and icky!

Mush mush!

I prefer pecans to walnuts!

Have fun in there!

What a lovely loaf! It's a bit more brown then I would like,

but I didn't want to the center to be mushy!

Yum Yum Yum!

Banana Bread

From Cooks Illustrated "The New Best Recipe" book

Makes one nine inch loaf

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour (plus more for dusting the pan)

1 1/4 cup walnuts, chopped coarse (I prefer pecans)

3/4 sugar

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 very ripe, soft, darkly speckled large bananas, mashed well

1/4 cup plain yogurt

2 large eggs, beaten lightly

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Adjust an oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease the bottom and sides of a 9 by 5-inch loaf pan; dust with flour taping out the excess.
Spread the nuts on a baking sheet and toast until fragrant, 5 to 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.
Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, salt and walnuts together in a large bowl; set aside.
Mix the mashed bananas, yogurt, eggs, butter and vanilla extract with a wooden spoon in a medium bowl. Lightly fold the banana mixture into the dry ingredients with a rubber spatula until just combined and the batter looks thick and chunky. DO NOT overly mix this batter. You want to just fold it together until you can not longer see the flour. Otherwise you will over develop the gluten and the bread wont rise as well. Scrape the batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake until the loaf is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 55 minutes. Cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature. The bread can be wrapped in plastic wrapped and be stored at room temperature for 3 days.

Chocolate/Heath Bar variation

Follow the recipe, reducing the sugar to 10 tablespoons and mixing in 2 1/2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, grated (a heaping 1/2 cup), into the dry ingredients.

My Gratitude Journal

2008-04-15T22:12:00.004-04:00

I keep a gratitude journal that I try to write in every night.

I just record little things that I was grateful for that day, anything from hitting that green light after leaving the grocery store, a paycheck coming in the mail, the beautiful deer feeding on the green grass in my backyard, or the abundance of love in my life. Every once in a while I read back through it to remind myself how wonderful my life is, and how lucky I am to be living it. Tonight was one of those nights. I came across an entry that any baker can appreciate because something similar has happened to anyone and everyone brave enough to mix a bunch of stuff together in a bowl and shove it in the oven just to see what will happen. I thought I might share it just to pass on the smile that it brought to me!

I'm grateful that the hair in my cake batter wound itself around the mixer paddle and did not end up in the cake!

Hehe… I'm sure the people who ate the cake would be grateful too!

Sometimes a girl just needs a cookie

2008-04-02T20:11:00.006-04:00

My busy busy day left me yearning for something sweet and homemade – of course that meant that I had to make something in order to satisfy my craving. I didn't feel like hunting through any of the seemingly billions of recipes I have, so I turned to my favorite old standby – Tollhouse chocolate chop cookies. You gotta love them! And no, I'm not going to post the recipe – all you've got to do is buy a bag of chocolate chips – that's what is so great about these cookies! What made the whole thing even more perfect was the fact that I had finally broken down and purchased a cookie scooper today. So useful, I don't know how I've baked all these years without one!

Look at what a flawless little plop of dough this is!

Sometimes a girl just needs a cookie.

And sometimes a girl just needs a spoonful of raw cookie dough and some milk!

Quick Lunch

2008-04-01T21:15:00.006-04:00

I'm definitely a scratch baker, so I'm mildly embarrassed to be posting this idea, but it turned out to be yummy so I figured I would share the idea anyway.

I wanted something satisfying for lunch the other day while working on my book, but nothing was striking my fancy as I stared into my fridge and cupboards. Poking out from the door shelf was a tube of Pilsbury Crescent Rolls, so I grabbed them and tried to think of what to do to make them into a lunch. I knew I had some frozen spinach and feta cheese, so I decided to make some pockets filled with that yummy combo.

But what about something sweet?

I'm a huge fan of sweetened cream cheese, so I mixed up some of Philadelphia's best with confectioner sugar, and put that in the center of the second half of my crescents. Delicious!

It was a great simple lunch, just enough to satisfy my need for something other than a sandwich, but simple enough to get me back to writing quickly. Yum!

A yummy little lunch envelope!

Spinach and Feta, always a great combination!

Who can turn down sweetened cream cheese? Not I!

Great date, even better Dessert!

2008-04-01T20:58:00.006-04:00

Not too long ago I spent a few hours vineyard hoping while on a date, and after buying a few bottles of wine we headed back to his house to cook dinner and enjoy our day's purchases. I offered to make dessert, and so I was happy that my new copy of Dorie Greenspan's Baking: From My Home to Yours had arrived so quickly from Amazon!

I have to toot their horn because I had ordered enough books to qualify for the free super saver shipping, which is said to take 3 to 5 days, and since I had ordered last Wednesday evening, I figured it would be into this week before I received the books. They arrived Friday! The shipping Gods must have known that I needed some great dessert ideas :)

So I turned to Dorie for something that I could bake one night and would still be perfect by the follow evening. Lots of things would still be good, but I wanted something great! After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach! So I went with Dorie's Split Level Pudding, which is vanilla pudding layered on top of chocolate ganache that is lying in wait at the bottom of the dish. Obviously pudding needs time to set, so I decided it would work well as a make ahead dessert.

I wanted something more, and Dorie recommends her World Peace Cookies as a great accompaniment to the pudding, so I decided to go with those to finish off my dessert.

The pudding turned out great, although I made a mess while making it. My food processor always seems to overflow regardless of how much liquid I put in, so I always end up with whatever I'm making leaking out the bottom. Oh well, what can you do! It tasted yummy before and after it set, so I was more than happy! And so was my date!

The cookies also have to chill, so I made the dough the night before, molded it into a log and then sliced and baked them the morning before I left for my day of sipping some local Virginia wines. The batter tasted great, which always assures a great product. They baked up perfectly and were also a hit! I took pictures of the extra pudding while testing it out with my mom and dad, but I only have pics of the raw cookies, because I didn't want to photograph my cookies on just my third date with this guy! I didn't need him thinking I was some crazy foodie (even though I am!)!

Not very attractive, and I don't need to say what it looks like!

The baked up version doesn't look all that different since this is meant to be a crumbly cookie

Yum Yum Yum Pudding!

If you want to try these out I recommend you buy Dorie Greenspans book Baking: From My Home to Yours. Trust me, it is well worth the low price!

Perfect Party Cake

2008-03-30T14:14:00.014-04:00

I've been haunting the Daring Bakers for a few months now, and finally got the chance to join this March! How lucky for me that my first challenge was a cake, as I'm a big fan of layer cakes! This months challenge was hosted by Morven at Food, Art and Random Thoughts and I'm really thankful to her for choosing a Dorie Greenspan recipe because I hadn't been introduced to Dorie's baking before. I bought the great book Baking From My Home to Yours and have already made pudding and cookies from her along with this cake!

The recipe uses egg whites only, which produces a really white cake. The cake has lemon extract and juice in the icing and batter, as well as raspberry preserves between the layers. Dorie and Morven both agree that playing around with this cake is a great idea. So since creativity was allowed, I switched it up as many of my fellow Daring Bakers did.

Yum Yum Kiwi

I decided to use lime instead of lemon in both the icing and batter, and used fresh kiwi as the fruit between the layers. The original recipe also alludes to using fresh whipped cream instead of the meringue buttercream in between the layers so I went with a variation of that as well.

Have fun in there pans!

I decided to make a mini cake because I didn't want to waste the ingredients on a cake that would loose its deliciousness before it could get finished. So I cut the recipe directly in half and it worked out perfectly.

Making the meringue buttercream was definitely more involved than any other icing I have made, but it is now officially my favorite frosting. I was expecting it to be heavy, and too sweet, but I loved it and probably could have eaten a bowl full.

Of course the day I decide to complete the challenge happened to be the day that a family friend and his wife decided to drop by my house. 'How perfect' you might think, someone to feed the lovely cake too! Well, when your family friend happens to be a French born pastry chef who specializes in cakes, the tension level rises a few notches! After I made the meringue buttercream, I gave him a taste, and much to my surprise he was very impressed! He said he was going to change his own recipe to include the lime juice because he liked it so much. What a compliment!

So after baking the cake and slicing the cooled layers in half I began to assemble my mini masterpiece. I made some homemade whipped cream, and then folded in some yummy lime curd to go along with my lime flavoring in the cake and buttercream. The first layer got topped off with the lime whipped cream, and then the next got a layer of buttercream and lots of kiwi. Another whipped cream filled layer and then the whole cake was iced with the buttercream.

In hindsight I wish I had put kiwi in between all the layers, and since the whipped cream and buttercream both had a lime flavor, I could have omitted the whipped cream and just used buttercream. But it still tasted delicious!

I will definitely make this cake again, and again, and I've already thought up several other flavor combinations that I'm going to try out.

Cookies for Shannon

2008-03-17T13:31:00.006-04:00

It's not every day that one of my good friends sets off on a treasure hunting expedition.

In fact there has never been another day, and probably will not be another to follow. But this Friday is that one day in my lifetime, so I figured Shannon deserved some Peanut Butter cookies before he headed off to the Dominican Republic to salvage millions of dollars worth of treasure!

He's a boat captain, who's vessel has been contracted to take a the recovery team down south and help them to haul up the goods. He has such a fabulous life! I'm his favorite ex-girlfriend who loves to bake, making his life that much more fabulous! He has been stuck down in Miami for weeks waiting to set out, and I've been promising him cookies the whole time. So it was time to put out and bake this boy some of his favorites.

I like my peanut butter cookies thin and crispy, and although I've tried others, the recipe my mom used when I was a child is still my favorite! The recipe dates back as far as my moms mom, so I'm a third generation baker using this one! I'm passing it on, as all good recipes should be!

Peanut Butter Cookies

1/2 cup Butter

1/2 Peanut Butter

1/2 cup Sugar

1/2 cup Brown Sugar

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon Vanilla

1/2 teaspoon Salt

1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 cup Flour

Preheat over 350º

Cream peanut butter and butter together

Beat in sugar and brown sugar

Beat in egg

Add vanilla

Stir in baking soda, salt and flour

Arrange teaspoon full sized cookies on baking sheet

Press cookies down with floured fork

Bake until firm, about 10 minutes

Enjoy!

Be safe Shannon, watch out for pirates (seriously!) and bring me back a barnacle like I asked! Miss you already! Hope you enjoy the cookies!

A chocolate combo the Easter Bunny would be proud of!

2008-03-15T18:43:00.011-04:00

Not to long ago I was scouring Target (as I often do) and I found myself in the Easter Candy section. I'm a big fan of Easter, and I wish that, at 29, I was still on the Big Bunnys list. There's nothing like a basket full of cellophane grass hiding lots of little candy pleasures. Why do kids get all the good stuff?

As I reminisced of Easters past while wandering around the candy aisles, I discovered mini Cadbury Eggs. Now since I'm a fan of the normal sized version, how could I pass up this pop em in the mouth bite sized buddy. I bought a dozen, and a week and a half later I bought another dozen. I hadn't exactly finished the first dozen, but I had experienced a moment of baking genius that made the second batch an important purchase.

I love chocolate, there's nothing for it. Slathered in peanut butter, worn by strawberries, happily encasing some York peppermint goodness, or simply covered in lint and found at the bottom of my purse – it's all delicious! So the ultimate chocolate cupcake has been on my mind for quite some time.

I already had the perfect icing, my Great Aunt Dorothy's recipe that is to die for. I could eat it by the mixing bowl full if my teeth wouldn't threaten to fall out! The cake part was what seemed to be eluding me. But then it struck me, while chopping something that was not choclate the other day, that I already had the perfect concoction which I usually cover with peanut butter icing. It's a Barefoot Contessa recipe that is fantastic. So there you have it, Ina and Aunt Dorothy, two of the greats coming together to create my perfect chocolate cupcake.

But… how to push it over the edge, you know, into "to die for" territory. That's where the eggs come in! It dawned on me, why now nestle on of these Cadbury buddies down into the batter and see what happens.

And guess what happened… HEAVEN HAPPENED!!

These are the best chocolate cupcakes that I have ever tasted! Normally I wouldn't share my Aunt's recipe because it's been in the family for so long, but I got permission to because everyone deserves to bask in the glory that is this PERFECT CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE! Even without the egg I can tell it's honey! I thought about taking a picture of what the inside of the cup looked like with the egg in there, but it didn't look like much, so I'm sparing you the boring inside of a cupcake photo. Just know that it adds the most fantastic dimension to these cakes!

All you have to do is push the (unwrapped ;) egg into the batter. I made the rookie mistake of pushing the egg all the way down, making contact with the liner. I would recommend letting it float a bit more, as the chocolate stuck to the paper and pulled one of my taste testers in two. This batter can support the weight of the egg, so it won't fall all the way down if you don't push it. I tried two different versions, one where I covered the egg in batter, and another where I did not. It didn't seem to make any difference at all in the look or the taste, so don't bother.

If you're a fan of chocolate, but cannot handle overly sweet things, this combo is great for you as well. The cake is chocolately, but not insanely sweet.

I'm normally not one to toot my own horn, but I have to say it… "Toot Toot!"

Alright, enough blogging, I'm going to eat another cupcake!

Chocolate Cupcakes

from Barefoot Contessa at Home

12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk, shaken, at room temperature
1/2 cup sour cream, at room temperature
2 tablespoons brewed coffee
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup good cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line cupcake pans with paper liners.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and 2 sugars on high speed until light and fluffy, approximately 5 minutes. Lower the speed to medium, add the eggs 1 at a time, then add the vanilla and mix well. In a separate bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, sour cream, and coffee. In another bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. On low speed, add the buttermilk mixture and the flour mixture alternately in thirds to the mixer bowl, beginning with the buttermilk mixture and ending with the flour mixture. Mix only until blended. Fold the batter with a rubber spatula to be sure it's completely blended.

Divide the batter among the cupcake pans (1 rounded standard ice cream scoop per cup is the right amount). ** If you're up for it, put the Cadbury Eggs in at this point.** Bake in the middle of the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes, remove from the pans, and allow to cool completely before frosting.

Great Aunt Dorothy's Chocolate Icing

4 tablespoons Cocoa

1 1/2 cup Confectioners Sugar

2 sticks Butter at room temperature

2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract

2 to 3 tablespoons Hot Coffee

Cream the butter, sugar, cocoa and vanilla together. Add coffee and whip for 2 minutes, or until it has reached you desired fluffiness. If you want the icing a bit thinner, add in a little more coffee.

Rice Cakes and a Lexus

2008-03-15T14:22:00.004-04:00

I've been reading back through what I have finished of my book, to make sure that I am, in fact, heading in my intended direction. It's a daunting task, and one that I've been putting off for quite some time. It was satisfying seeing those 172 pages come rolling off the printer, until of course I realized that this number confirmed my worst fear — I am not writing nearly enough. So indeed, it is time to kick this novel into high gear. If it's ever going to win a Nobel and a Pulitzer than it has to reach completion, and it's never going to get written on its own.

The book has a bit of an odd format, one that I'm hoping a publisher or editor will not want to change. It roams back and forth between journal entries and chapters, giving the real moments and then true insights of the character in question. As you may or may not know, the book is about a young woman suffering from depression, while trying to find the strength to love herself enough to put an end to her desperate need for a husband/man. The journal entry that I am going to share is set well into the book at a time where Eddie, the main character, has finally reached a place where she can laugh at herself. I laughed, and so did my mother and father, so hopefully you will enjoy it as well.

I find it highly amusing that no matter how much progress I have made when it comes to moving away from being desperate for a man… it always seems to creep back in every once in awhile. And it’s always when I think I’ve finally licked the damn thing.
I’m driving up I 81N after a visit to a friend who lives down in Roanoke. I hadn’t had breakfast, so I was munching on some rice cakes on my way back home. They were the mini kind, so one could fit in your mouth with just a hint of difficulty. I was in the left hand lane, as always, and I was coming up on a man in a Lexus. I guess for some reason I felt that the back of his head suggested that he was good looking. Just as I was about to come window to window with him, I froze with a mouth completely full of mini rice cake. I didn’t want to appear as if I was eating, because god forbid an attractive man in a Lexus motoring along I 81N see me chewing. Unfortunately for me, the majority of my rice cake was causing my right cheek to bulge. The right cheek of course being the one that this man was going see.
Luckily my sense of self worth was not dashed all over the highway, and I was in fact able to continue driving past the man in the Lexus. No I do not know if he was attractive, because of course I couldn’t look at him!
Even more luckily, I was able to instantly laugh at myself. I mean really, what was I thinking? Did I expect the possibly attractive man in Lexus to be so captivated with just the right side of my face that he would follow me home and confess his undying love for me. Or maybe if he was on an urgent errand and could not pause now to confess, maybe he would write down my license plate number, and beg the local authorities to give him my information. Of course the car is registered to my father, so he would end up thinking I was married, and then not pursue me!
Oh my god! I live in a movie. It’s exhausting. But thankfully it seems to have taken a turn from drama to comedy!
Sheesh :)

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

The Joy Luck Club

2008-03-12T00:41:00.003-04:00

This is quite possibly one of the best paragraphs I have read in my entire life. It is words at their finest, strung delicately together by a true artist.

Standing perfectly still like that, I discovered my shadow. At first it was just a dark spot on the bamboo mats that covered the courtyard bricks. It had short legs and long arms, a dark coiled braid just like mine. When I shook my head, it shook its head. We flapped our arms. We raised one leg. I turned to walk away and it followed me. I turned back around quickly and it faced me. I lifted the bamboo mat to see if I could peel off my shadow, but it was under the mat, on the brick. I shrieked with delight at my shadow's own cleverness. I ran to the shade under the tree, watching my shadow chase me. It disappeared. I loved my shadow, this dark side of me that had my same restless nature. - From The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan

What an absolutely enchanting way to relate such a typically forgotten discovery. I think tomorrow morning I will spend some time getting reacquainted with my shadow - it seems its been to long.

Constant Companion

2008-03-09T18:55:00.003-04:00

Just wanted to give a shout out to my constant writing companion, my paperclip pig.

He sits here with me, day in and day out, just waiting to offer up a hand dandy paper fastener in case I should ever need one. And if not, he happily sits in his bathtub whilst blue paperclips rain down on him, and he smiles. He just smiles that sly pig smile of his.

I think everyone should have a paperclip pig to cheer them on each day. Especially a clean little pig like this one!

Macaroons

2008-03-07T13:03:00.005-05:00

My mom and sister both have Celiac disease, which means they have an intolerance to Gluten, which is in pretty much everything! And my other sister has a dairy allergy! So macaroons are great because they don't have any flour or dairy in them.

I found a new recipe the other day and figured I would try them out this morning. Normally I would post the link, but I actually wouldn't recommend this one to others trying to make good Macaroons. They were too eggy and some of them baked up more like cookies than Macaroons.

The recipe called for dried cranberries, but I decided to substitute mini chocolate chips instead because I love chocolate and coconut together! Of course macaroons are simple to make, you just mix everything in a bowl and then make them into little mounds of triangles, and bake em up.

They taste good, but they aren't a pretty as I would have liked. I won't be serving them to my French baker friend who is stopping by tomorrow, but I will be feeding them to my allergy filled family!

Hello birdy

2008-03-06T20:36:00.003-05:00

Just another snip it from my book Shoo Elephant… Shoo.

See if you can figure out what's going on!

I sat on the edge of the cliff wondering why there was only one pink kangaroo amongst all the green giraffes. Figuring I might as well go down to the savannah floor and go ask that kangaroo why he was all alone, and hmm… in Africa, I pushed off from the cliff edge and floated peacefully down to the ground below.
“Hi Merwoman Eddie!” a giraffe called from somewhere off to my right, prompting me to look down at my feet as I waved a feathery hand in salutations to my long neck friend. Right before my eyes, my legs seemed to fuse without any pain, or sensation at all, and then scales sprouted out in various shades of pink and purple.
Quite immediately I knew that the pink kangaroo was mine, as its pink color matched my tail perfectly, and was waiting patiently for me on the other side of the savannah. I walked, despite my mermaid appendage, through the high grass and towards my roo, and covered what had seemed like miles in mere moments.
As I stood next to my roo, petting his feathery head, a small bug flew by my ear ringing loudly. I swatted it away, and watched as a bird winged its way to me. It settled down on my arm and opened its mouth and started ringing at me. “Funny bird,” I said, “why are you ringing and not singing?”
My kangaroo looked up at me and said “Because Shannon is calling, you goosey mermaid you!”
“Oh okay!” I said. I took a hold of the bird and lifted it to my ear and said “Hello?”
“So you are alive!” Shannon’s voice echoed through the bird.
I smiled and said “Yes birdy, I am,” in a groggy voice.
“Birdy?” he said, “did you just call me birdy?”

Chocolate Bread Pudding Cupcakes

2008-03-06T13:51:00.011-05:00

In my constant search for the perfect cupcake I was directed to this great blog CupCake Bake Shop not long ago and I have been ravaging her recipes for awhile now. I found this one amongst her greats, which the blogger herself says is a cupcake that she's enamored with. So I had to give them a try.

I had a get-together to go to Wednesday night for the season finale of one of my favorites shows, Project Runway, so I figured I would take these along with me. It's definitely a more involved recipe then most, but I'm pretty sure it was worth the trouble, I'm still on the fence about their amazingness.

I decided to go ahead and make the homemade toffee, as was recommended. Unfortunately it never quite became toffee, but seemed to remain in the in between stage, and somewhere closer to thin, small pieces of caramel, once I had attempted to chop it up. It tasted good though, so that's all that counts in the baking world.

The recipe calls for a loaf of challah or brioche, which I could find neither of at my grocer. I think it's just because I went shopping so late at night and all the good bread was gone, but nontheless I was breadless and attempting

to make a bread pudding cupcake. So the nice lady in the grocery store bakery directed me to a frozen loaf of challah that I could rise and bake myself. Well why not! I'm a baker, I'm making the toffee, why not the bread too! It baked up just fine, and soon found it self chopped up and coated in chocolate cream.

The batter actually grossed me out a little bit once it was all put together, in look alone, not because of what was actually in it. First I had to boil some cream and milk with cocoa powder in it, and no matter how closely I watched it, both required boilings boiled right over and all over the stove.

More chocolate gets added, and then some egg yolks and sugar. Unfortunately I wasn't thinking ahead when I made myself an 8 egg-white omelette - I have a cake to bake that requires 8 egg whites, while these took 8 yokes. If only I had thought to save those whites! Ugh! Anyway, all that gets poured over the bread to soak, and then lopped into the cupcake pan.

I love simple icings, which this recipe required. Just whipped cream, that's it. And who doesn't love fresh, homemade whipped cream? I admit that these cupcakes are delicious, but like I said before, I'm undecided on whether or not they were worth all the effort. I will make them again, but hopefully I'll be able to buy a loaf of bread, and I'll definitely be buying toffee rather than making it.

Here's the recipe. You'll have to scroll down because this blog doesn't allow for one recipe per page.

Cookie Press

2008-03-02T17:45:00.008-05:00

I got hungry around lunch time today, as um, I guess most people do, and decided to make a sandwich, which was simple but good. Sometimes you just can't beat a bologna and cheese on rye! As I attempted to leave the kitchen a moment or so after I had made my sandwich, I could swear my oven gave me a dirty look. I haven't had a chance to bake anything in the last week or so, and I knew my Kitchen Aid mixer and Silpats were feeling neglected. So I decided to pump out some easy press cookies really fast just so I could face my appliances again without feeling guilty.

I love my cookie press, there's something so satisfying about a batter gun pumping out perfectly shaped cookies at darn near light speed. I don't really care all that much about my right to bear arms, but I'd certainly care if the Second Amendment included my Cookie Gun!

It's such a simple butter heavy recipe that only takes minutes to throw together. Of course it calls for regular granulated sugar, but I keep all my baking sugar happily infused with vanilla beans, so I think that makes these cookies extra yummy.

I still remember back when my mom began teaching me to bake, and how she always told me how important measuring flour was. She explained that you never want to pack your flour, so you should always use a spoon to fill your measuring cup, and then use a knife to even out the flour and then smoothly scrape the extra powder off the top. Every time I do it I remember her advice and smile.

This recipe makes about 7 to 8 dozen cookies, but they are relatively small, and easily popped in the mouth whole without the need to take a bite. If you have a cookie press and want a simple recipe, here's a great basic one:

1 1/2 cups butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract (I'm not a fan of almond extract, so I just use 1 1/2 tsp. of vanilla extract instead)
3 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder

- Preheat oven to 375º

- Cream butter and sugar

- Add milk, egg vanilla and almond extracts - beat well

- Stir flour and baking powder together, then gradually add to creamed mixture - mix until dough is smooth

- Do not chill - fill cookie press and have a go at it!

- Bake for 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned around the edges

- Eat!

Birthday Cake

2008-02-28T16:19:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday, and since it's a sin to do anything other than shop for oneself on ones birthday, there was no way I was baking my own birthday cake. My dad took it upon himself to lovingly buy my a ridiculously large sheet cake from Costco that had huge icing balloons and confetti on it. Although I would never buy a cake for someone, simply because I love to bake, I greatly appreciated the gesture, and found myself enjoying the cake simply because it was purchased with love, that same kind of love that I put into things when I bake them. It was delicious, the icing was to sweet, the mouse filling was overly rich and the chocolate cake was delightfully spongy - my teeth still happily ache from the two pieces yesterday and the one so far from today. I had planned to bake some Boston Cream Pie cupcakes today, but I certainly can't justify 24 cupcakes sitting on the counter when I have a massive hunk o cake in the fridge. Course it shouldn't take too long to polish off that cake, so expect a cupcake post soon!

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

Quiche to die for … if I don't die baking it!

2008-02-22T14:18:00.010-05:00

There comes a point in every bakers life where you begin to think "Hey, I know what I'm doing here!" and you think you can bake anything and everything.

I had recently begun to think I had achieved a certain level of talent, and could probably tackle pretty much anything. I now know I was patting myself on my back a bit too firmly (and am grudgingly admitting it)!

I've been wanting to take my moms great pie crust recipe and making some alterations to see what would happen. So last night I decided that I would make the full recipe and divide it in half. I did so, and put one half into the fridge to use this morning on a quiche I had been wanting to make. The other half got halved again, and then halved yet again.

I attempted adding in some honey to one of the small batches, and some maple syrup into another. The honey didn't seem to reveal itself in a wonderful burst of flavor as I hoped it would, and actually you couldn't even tell it was in there. The maple syrup did make a subtle, lovely impact, but in order to have been a real player in the taste, I would have needed to add a good deal more.

The other portion I rolled out and made into little tiny pies, half filled with a mixture of butter, brown sugar and pecans, and the other encasing yummy sweet cream cheese. Those were delicious and well worth the effort it takes to make pie crust.

This morning I was excited about making the quiche, as I had never done so before. I had decided on a spinach, bacon and swiss cheese recipe from Paula Dean on the Foodnetwork. She's the master is unhealthy yumminess, so I knew a quiche from her would be divine. I grabbed my dough out of the fridge and set to rolling it out on the counter. It wasn't cooperating as I would have liked, but I forged on. I rolled and rolled and finally got it to the size I needed to cover my tart pan.

Here's where things went to pieces… literally!! The dough crumbled as I attempted to lift it onto the pan. So, I put the pieces back into their previous place, and tried to roll them back together again. I succeeded, sort of, and then tried to slide it

onto the pan again. About a quarter of it made it, and the rest fell apart. As the stomping up and down and shouting at the top of my lungs didn't seem to be helping, I finally decided just to piece the darn thing together in the pan and use the warmth of my fingers to mush it all back together again.

It was hideous and it certainly made me thank god that no one was going to see what the crust looked like!

Next came a layer of spinach, crumbled cooked bacon, and swiss cheese. I'm a huge fan of onions, so I decided to add them into the equation. I sauted them a little bit and then added them into the cream and egg mixture that goes on top. I ended up having a lot of the cream/egg mixture left over, which was a shame. Sorry to the chicken who laid those eggs that went down the drain today, and to the lovely cow who made the cream that was wasted as well! It just wouldn't fit in there!

The recipe called for a 35-45 minute bake time. I pulled it out at 35 because it was starting to brown on top and I didn't want it to burn after all my hard work.

As I waited for my family to return home to eat it with me, I figured I would pop the quiche out of the tart pan by easily lifting the center of the pan out, just like the tart pan was designed for. So I grabbed a pot holder, placed my hand on the bottom of the pan and the outside rim popped off nicely. Then it slide down my arm and started burning my skin. As I howled in agony I slid the quiche onto the awaiting plate and tossed the scalding rim into the sink.

20 minutes later I cut into the quiche, slid the first piece out and was greeted with a running mess. It was as if I had made soup and warmed it inside a pie crust shell. Back to stomping up and down and shouting. Back into the oven it went, on the plate and with a piece missing, for 10 more minutes.

Thank goodness it tasted good!! I swear by the time I pulled it out of the oven I didn't care anymore if it was done, I just wanted to eat it! Luckily the final 10 minutes helped it to set up perfectly. It was delicious, and I will make it again.

Hopefully you'll have better first time success than I did! Here's the recipe from Paul Dean with my additions:

6 large eggs

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

Salt + Pepper

2 cups chopped fresh spinach

1 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled

1 1/2 cups shredded swiss cheese

1/2 large onion, sauted in 1 tbs butter

Your favorite pie crust recipe

Preheat oven 375º
Line a 9 inch tart pan or pie dish with whatever pie crust recipe you would like to use.
Put down layer of chopped spinach
Follow with layer of crumbled bacon
Next put down layer of swiss cheese
Combine cream, eggs and S+P in blender and mix together
Pour mixture into pan and then put onions in (I put the onions into the mixture and next time I wouldn't because they sink and then plop in in lumps)
Bake 35-45 minutes (I recommend 45 :)

Up next… Boston Cream Pie cupcakes! My sweet tooth is aching already!

Bridget Brilliance

2008-02-16T10:17:00.005-05:00

So the good news is, I've found my soul mate.

The bad news is, it happens to be Bridget Jones.

Seeing as that I am straight and do not live inside a book, it appears that my true search continues. However, it's always nice to know that someone else's mind happens to be just as crazy as mine!
I have of course seen the Bridget Jones movies, and loved them both, but I had never actually read the books. In one of my weekly trips to the bookstore I happened upon Helen Fielding's work and figured it was time to add it to my bulging bookshelves. My work in progress could find itself in the same genre as this gem, so not only is it a great read, but it's good to know what else is out there.
This book is HYSTERICAL! Honestly, I laid in my bed last night laughing out loud and didn't put it down until 2 a.m. when I finally couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. The novel certainly needs no explanation from me, we all know what it's about. However, if your only experience with Bridg is the movies, then I implore you to read the books. The following excerpt from the first book is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read. It's a crime the it wasn't used in the movie! It had me laughing for at least two minutes straight. Which by the way, is a great abdominal workout (v.g.).

I made a complete arse of myself today, though. I got in the lift to go out for a sandwich and found Daniel in there with Simon from Marketing, talking about footballers being arrested for throwing matches. "Have you heard about this, Bridget?" said Daniel.
"Oh yes," I lied, groping for an opinion. "Actually, I think it's all rather petty. I know it's a thuggish way to behave, but as long as they didn't actually set light to anyone I don't see what all the fuss is about." - Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding

I'm laughing again just typing it out. I love it!! Thanks to Helen for bringing women to life, in all our neurotic glory!

Psychic reading

2008-02-13T20:57:00.007-05:00

I walked down the street and followed the same path my parents had earlier. It was still drizzling a little bit as I sat down on the bench outside to wait. I knew the drill, there was always a lot of people inside and waiting outside on the boards, so you just had to sit around and stay put until someone acknowledged you and asked you inside.
I sat there, staring at my flip flopped feet, wondering how long it would be before someone called me in and bled me dry in exchange for a bunch of bullshit. Quickly I began to wonder if they could read minds, which led to a state of worry since I was sitting there, clearly in mind reading range, thinking they were full of bullshit.
As if the psychics called on the clouds in order to punish me for my skeptical thoughts, water began to pour down from the sky, drenching me almost instantly. I looked around for Noah and his f***ing ark as I pulled my wet hood over my head in attempt to stay somewhat presentable, but it was useless. All the other rain soaked souls in need of guidance ran for it, and I debated about following them, but decided to stick it out. I was already sopping wet, what was the point of getting out of line now? Hopefully this meant I was now at the front of what had been a long queue.
I hadn’t brought my cell phone with me, and I never wore a watch, so in reality I had no idea how long I had been sitting there before a woman leaned her head outside to greet me, however, I guessed it had been an eternity, give or take a few millennia.
Thirty-four minutes later I walked out, my pocket $107 lighter, tears mingling with the still falling rain on my cheeks, my left hand clutching the crystals, two purple and one yellow, that were supposed to help me, the instructions on how to clean them in a sunny window still floating aimlessly in my head.

Here is a snipit from a chapter that has yet to be titled and still doesn't have a real place in the book yet… but it's still an important moment in my main characters story. Obviously I'm revealing nothing in an effort to keep you coming back for more!

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

Hummingbird Cupcakes

2008-02-12T14:58:00.002-05:00

When I first saw these cupcakes on one of my favorite blogs, Alpineberry, my strange imagination immediately ran away with itself, leaving me with a vision of a cup sized cake encasing a sweet, little hummingbird, waiting patiently inside for me to bite gently in, releasing it from its cakey captor. Not all that appetizing to be truthful! Of course no animals were harmed in the making of this confection, however, the sweet pineapple flower on top gives one the impression that a hummingbird might be along at any moment to sample some sweet nectar. That is if I haven't eaten all the cupcakes before those pesky birds have a chance to bogart any of them!

These were a lot of fun to make. The batter had

some real weight to it, leaving me with a rather masculine (if that's possible of batter) impression of it. It wasn't like some of those wimpy, running concoctions that leave you wondering if you'll end up with soup once the oven and the pan get together to do what ever it is they do in there. This one really stays where you plop it, and I admire that in a batter. Unlike any wildlife, two of my favorite fruits, pineapple and banana, are living inside, accounting for the actual weight no doubt. The pan was actually slightly heavy to lift (leaving me guilt ridden for denying my treadmill and free weights the honor of my presence this morning)!

I love working with fresh pineapple. There is something satisfying about carving one up. And the happy tops certainly gave my compost pile a festive, Bahamian kind of look, despite the fact that there was snow falling when I hightailed it outside to drop them off.

I was left with a bit of extra batter, which saddened me because I feel it's a crime to waste good cake batter. I couldn't quite justify heating up the second oven for what would have been about two extra cupcakes, so I over filled my second batch instead. I'm typically an over filler anyway, so it didn't take too much convincing on my own part.

I have to admit I'm a peeker, I cannot leave well enough alone. I know, I know, it just postpones the enjoyment, but I cannot help myself! Besides, that's when you get the best wafts! On my first peek I was overwhelmed by the scent! So much so that I wanted to climb inside that hot oven and eat the half baked batter, with no regard for my own safety. Luckily I wouldn't have fit, as that's probably all that kept me out of there!

You can find the recipe here. I found I only needed one large pineapple – half for the batter, and the other half for the flowers – but others may have a different experience. I'm lucky enough to get to bake on a professional range that has that nifty convection option on it. The first batch went a full 33 minutes (ten over) without the convection on. I tried the second round with the convection and ended up at exactly 23 minutes.

I always end up with 11 or 23 iced cupcakes as one must be sacrificed whilst still warm. The slaughter was just committed and I'm wondering if I'm only going to have 22 to top. The upside to that is that the less cupcakes that get iced, the more icing the others may adorn. It's a cream cheese icing, which is my fav, so the excess might just end up in my belly.

They have finally reached completion and they are fantastic all around! I love the way they look, and they taste scrumptious!! This recipe is absolutely worth the extra effort. The cream cheese icing is divine and the bite of pineapple on top is the perfect touch. I will definitely be adding these to my repertoire… and I'm confident life will soon give me an excuse to bake them again and show them off!

Moloka'i

2008-02-10T14:45:00.001-05:00

But in that collective wail Rachel heard some distinctive voices, and now she saw, on the other side of the barrier, Mama and Papa and he siblings, and seeing them, Rachel's resolve crumbled, her tears flowed. The police herded the patients along, discouraging contact with friends and relatives. Already the first of the exiles were being taken up the gangway and onto the ship. Rachel, adults towering on every side of her, could barely make out her family and felt suddenly afraid; she had to see them one last time! She began pushing her way through the mass of people, struggling to get closer. "Let my through! Let me through!" she cried out, barely able to see past the barricade of her own tears; she shoved and elbowed her way over, until at last she broke through the bulwarks of leprous flash and saw them, saw Mama and Papa and Ben and Kimo and Sarah pressed against the wooden fence. When they saw her their hands shot out, they called her name, their bodies strained against the barrier. The crowd surged behind Rachel, she was propelled forward like a speck of foam on a billowing wave; her hand reached out, the tip of her fingers just grazing Mama's palm as she passed, the human wave carrying her away. Rachel would cherish that last touch for years to come, remembering the warmth of her skin, the way her big fingers almost closed around Rachel's, and the desperate love in Mama's face as it was stolen away from her. – Moloka'i by Alan Brennert

I love this book, it's one of my all time favorites. Not necessarily because of the writing, which is what normally wraps me up, but the story is so captivating. The book is set in the Hawaiian islands, with the story beginning in 1891 and ending in 1970. It is the tale of a girl, Rachel, who contracts leprosy, known as the ma'i pake on the islands, at the tender age of six. At that time in history there was no cure for leprosy and the disease was widely misunderstood. Through out the world people were shipped off to colonies in hopes of not infecting others, and Hawaii was no different. The colony serving the islands was known as Kalaupapa on the island of Molokai'i. Rachel is forced to leave behind her loving family and all that she knows to go to the colony. "Luckily" her uncle contracted the ma'i pake before her, and he will be on the island to bring her some comfort, that is until the disease claims his life, leaving her alone.
Rachel's story, although fiction, is still a true story. Thousands of people were shipped off to leprosy colonies around the world, and many were children, left to find their own way. This story is one of adventure, sadness, love and self discovery. It's fantastic, a story that has you crying one chapter and smiling wide the next. I recommend it to everyone, not only because it's a good book, but also because it's a part of our history, one that typically gets no mention in the classroom.

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

Apple Pie Cupcakes

2008-02-08T23:02:00.000-05:00

Life has kept me out of the kitchen recently, which was starting to take its toll of my baking soul… so today I got my bake on and whipped up some Apple Pie Cupcakes! DELICIOUS!! I'm a big fan of Alpineberry, a blog about baking, and when I saw these cupcakes on Marys blog I knew I had to try them out. Not only do I love apple pie, but the idea of apple pie with frosting… now that makes me smile wide. These confections were the product of a Daring Bakers Challenge (which I'm super excited to be joining in March!) and I must say that Mary succeeded! Check out the recipe and her blog… it's tasty all around.
As I write this, I'm already dreaming of a tall glass of milk and another cup of cake. What makes them super special is the fact that there are yummy, caramelized apples laid across the top before the batter is baked. There is cinnamon in the batter and a buttery cinnamony sweet frosting to top it all off. They have been a big hit already in my house… I highly recommend them to anyone who loves apple pie, and even those who don't dream about it the moment their head hits the pillow!

Getting a bit a head of myself

2008-02-07T22:45:00.002-05:00

I have to admit that while I'm getting better about writing more often, my mind has begun to wander to where things will go after my first book is finished. I have a very general idea of what book two and three will be about, but I'm trying to concentrate on getting the first draft of Shoo Elephant Shoo done before I do any writing on the rest of the trilogy. Tonight, however, I disobeyed myself and wandered a bit farther down the stream then I'm supposed to.

I thought you might like a sneak peek of book two. To tell you about the setting of this dialogue would be impossible as that has yet to come to me. My favorite moments in writing are those where something seems to just dribble out of your brain and onto the screen… your fingers becoming just a tool meant only for this very purpose… the purpose of story telling. I'm excited to see what comes of this, but I mustn't wander away from Elephant too much… so we will all have to wait and see.

Peek… peek:

“I always figured my chances of becoming a crazy, spinster, recluse writer were pretty decent. I thought I could wander around my vast property in my Great Aunt Dorothy’s mink fur coat, over my cotton nightgown of course… no socks. And I could bark at the mailman and squabble at the birds. I could spend hours in front of my typewriter, not of course my laptop, as crazy recluse writers do it the old fashion way, and I could swelter away in the summer in that fur coat. But then you came along… and somehow I fell in love with you. And now that plan has gone all sorts to shit. I would have been good at it. I would have been exceptional in fact. But now I have to be normal, and wear the coat like a sophisticated doctors wife, rather than a recluse spinster. How boring is that.
“Promise me this, will you… promise me that at least once a summer I can wander around in the woods wearing a nightgown and the furs, and I will agree to marry you. That’s my one, honest, request from you. Food on the table… a roof over my head… blah. If you can love me through me wandering around in the fur coat and nightgown, oh oh and my green wellies… if you can love me through that than you’ve got a deal.
“Otherwise… I’ll need to sleep on it.”

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

Butternut Squash Muffins

2008-01-26T10:23:00.002-05:00

It must be said that I am hopelessly in love with the British Chef Jamie Oliver.
He's totally adorable and is fantastic in the kitchen. His new show, Jamie at Home, on Food Network is wonderful, so much so that I get up early on Saturday mornings to watch it when it airs.
I never took him for much of a baker, but not to long ago on his episode featuring pumpkins and squash, he made these delicious looking butternut squash cupcakes and what was a simple crush turned into full fledged adoration!
I made them the other day and they are superb!! They are really easy so I recommend them to anyone willing to bake creatively. They are similar to carrot cake, but much better in my opinion. Here's the recipe. The only thing I have to say is the quantity is flat wrong! They claim it makes 12 muffins, and I got 3 dozen, so something went wrong in the translation, because I followed the recipe to a T! The larger amount prompted me to make double to topping, which I would recommend anyway, just so you can eat it with a spoon!

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

The Wolves of Willoughby Chase

2008-01-24T23:01:00.001-05:00

It was dusk– winter dusk.
Snow lay white and shining over the pleated hills, and icicles hung from the forest trees. Snow lay piled on the dark road across Willoughby Wold, but from dawn the men had been clearing it with brooms and shovels. There were hundreds of them at work, wrapped in sacking because the bitter cold, and keeping together in groups for fear of the wolves, grown savage and reckless from hunger.
Snow lay think, too, upon the roof of Willoughby Chase, the great house that stood on an open eminence in the heart of the wold. But for all that, the Chase looked an inviting home– a warm and welcoming stronghold. Its rosy herringbone brick was bright and well-cared for, its numerous turrets and battlements stood up sharp against the sky, and the crenelated balconies, corniced with snow, each held a golden square of window. The house was all alight within, the joyous hubbub of its activity contrasted with the somber sighing of the wind and the hideous howling of the wolves without.
In the nursery a little girl was impatiently dancing up and down before the great window, fourteen feet high, which faced out over the park and commanded the long black expanse of the road.
"Will she be here soon, Pattern? Will she?" was her continual cry.
– The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken

Don't you just want to be inside, peering out one of those golden squares of a window!
I discovered this book at a yard sale when I was probably around 12. I still remember what the yard looked like, and what the experience was like when I found what would become my all-time favorite book. The pages have become a light brown over time, and the smell when you bury your nose in this tome is heavenly. The copyright on my copy is 1962, and it shows, but that just means its been well loved.
Before it fell into my hot little hands a girl named Patty owned it. She left her mark on the inside cover, and when I was younger, I often wondered who Patty was, where she was, and why in the world she was willing to part with this wonderful story.
The saga is set in Britain in what I can only assume is the later part of the 19th century. It's the tale of two young girls who must travel across England, with the help of a young boy, in order to find safety from a wretched governess. I will say no more in hopes of luring you into reading it. Yes, it's a children's novel, but I still think it's worth reading. After all, the Harry Potter series is supposedly for children.
I just went on Amazon to make sure this book was still available, and it turns out it's the first in a series of 13 books, entitled The Wolves Chronicles. Now I have to go buy the other 12!

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

Cinnamon Buns

2008-01-23T20:50:00.000-05:00

I attempted baking with yeast for the first time the other day and had wonderful results! I decided to go with Cinnamon Buns my first time out because I recently found out that my very existence is related to Cinnamon Buns! It turns out that during the depression, my great grandfather baked buns in the basement of their Philadelphia row home, and sent my grandfather out into town to sell them. The money made from this venture put food on the table for my relatives and kept them alive. So in turn my grandfather lived through the depression, and was able to get married and have kids. My dad was then able to have me, so I owe my life to cinnamon buns! It only seemed right that I should add this confection to my repertoire.

I went with a recipe from Food Network because it was the first one I found. I plan on trying lots of different recipes to find one that seems to be a standout, but this first one was great! Check it out. I followed it to a T, other than switching the juice of a lemon out for that of a clementine for the icing. It was only because I forgot to buy lemons, but it turned out great, and added a dimension that I think would have been missing otherwise. I found that drizzling the icing over just the bun I was devouring worked out best because that way the rest didn't get soggy. Not that they stuck around in my families kitchen long enough to get soggy, but still!

It was my first time kneading dough and I loved it, but I have to admit… the best part about making these buns was cutting them with dental floss. It was totally satisfying in this fantastic way! If only I could go around chopping things up with dental floss all day long, it would rock!

Writing and Reese's

2008-01-15T21:30:00.001-05:00

Often times you'll hear a novelist say how healing the process of writing a book can be. Today was one of those days for me, as I was able to let some of my own grief go via my main character. As she sat there crying in my book, I sat there crying at my desk, and we let the pain go together. It was a great day of writing, so good in fact that I gave myself a high five. Of course when your alone in the fiving it really just ends up being one clap kinda higher up in the air than you would normally clap, but hey, what can you do!

Most of the day revolved around writing, with a few moments spent hugging my nephew, and a few more spent gazing out the back window at the deer who were munching away in my backyard.

The only problem with writing all day is that nothing got baked, and the coconut cake is sadly all gone. So at 9:30 this evening I found myself craving something sweet and I gladly turned to my favorite substitute for all things baked, a Reese's. Some time ago I was introduced to the mother of all Reese's cups– the large holiday version. The great thing about the holiday big boys is their peanut butter to chocolate ratio. The chocolate takes a back seat to the PB in this one, unlike the cup where the two yummos come together about evenly. As far as I'm concerned the chocolate is merely a vehicle with which to ingest the peanut butter, so this PB heavy combo is heaven for me.

Of course the cup shape is tossed aside in honor of whatever holiday might be near, or months away as the case happens to be right now. Luckily I had only just finished my last Christmas tree when the Valentines hearts arrived on the shelves. I actually saw the Easter Eggs the other day, but I'm trying to be true to the season and work my way there slowly. Besides, it must be said that at Easter the Cadbury Eggs vie for my Reese's attention.

Most people just dive in and take a bite, denying one of our most treasured senses a chance to enjoy this pleasure. Me, I like to sniff ’em first. There's nothing better than a long, slow draught of Reese's, trust me. The endorphin explosion rivals that of a good, long workout. If only I got the same effects from chocolate and peanut butter as I do from my hour long morning workouts. I would gladly spend the first hour of my day devouring these pals in exchange for a smaller butt… but sadly, I pretty sure I would get the opposite result.

Torture

2008-01-14T00:08:00.000-05:00

As a professional procrastinator I find myself once again avoiding my book and watching Sex and the City, figuring I'm watching a show about a writer, that must count for something. It happens to be the episode after Carrie finds out that Burgers second book option was dropped. She's going to jury duty when Burger says he's going to head to a museum since he's in that part of town. Carrie says "Oh, well aren't you going to write today?" eliciting a wounded reaction from her beau, with him asking her if she thinks he's a slacker. It got me thinking, why is that I torture myself with guilt when I'm not writing? I literally make myself feel horrible if I'm sitting around doing nothing, as if every moment of my waking existence has to be committed to writing this book. And further more, why am I procrastinating when I'm supposedly doing what I've always dreamed of doing. Shouldn't I be happily writing every available minute of the day? And how is that I somehow find a way of torturing myself for torturing myself too much? Every once in awhile I long for that 9 to 5 existence, or 2 to 10 as it was for me in the newspaper world. I know, ech, how could I say it, but the thing is when you leave work you can actually leave work! Not so when you work from home. It's always sitting there, watching you like that puppy that just wants to go out and pee when you don't have time to let it out. Or like that pile of laundry that gets higher and higher even though you work from home and actually for once in your life have no excuse of running out of clean underwear only to be left with every girls secret, that token pair of granny panties we seem to be given at birth. I guess I really should rethink my self imposed torture as it has the potential to end up in a relationship killing crash of pink carnations. Unless of course the relationship between me and my torturous side is all thats finito. Ugh, this is torture.

Course, Charlotte and Harry get engaged at the end of this one… so there must be some hope for the future.

Gummi Love

2008-01-13T17:49:00.001-05:00

Alright, so I didn't bake them (only because I don't know how!), but I still have to declare my love affair with all things gummi. As a child growing up in the Philadelphia suburbs, I often found myself in the Fannie Mae candy store in the Neshaminy Mall about as often as I could find myself there. I discovered the world of chewy gel like candy in the form of strawberry gummies. Many many years later I find myself living far far away from those first gummi berries, but I still get my fix as often as I can. Go on, eat a gummi… after all even gummies daydream of gummies!

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

The Wisdom of Wallace Wattles

2008-01-13T14:32:00.002-05:00

God, the One Substance, is trying to live and do and enjoy things through humanity. He is saying "I want hands to build wonderful structures, to play divine harmonies, to paint glorious pictures; I want feet to run my errands, eyes to see my beauties, tongues to tell mighty truths and to sing marvelous songs." … God wants those who can play music to have pianos and every other instrument… He wants those who can appreciate beauty to be able to surround themselves with beautiful things; He wants those who can discern truth to have the opportunity to travel and observe; He wants those who can appreciate dress to be beautifully clothed, and those who can appreciate good food to be luxuriously fed. He wants all these things because it is Himself that enjoys and appreciates them; it is God who wants to play, and sing, and enjoy beauty, and proclaim truth and wear fine clothes, and eat good food. – The Science on Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles

I'm loving this book. I'm typically a Fiction maven, however, this publication is a must for anyone trying to get a strong foothold in the rock face of life. It's actually some of the inspiration for the movie and book 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne. If you practice the law of attraction in your life or have no idea what I'm talking about you should navigate yourself over to Amazon and get this wisdom filled book.

I'm having a good time working it into my life and making it work for me. For instance, just this morning when I was sweating it out on the treadmill working off last nights coconut confections, I felt God trying to enjoy life through me. Of course it didn't come in the form of a burning bush, just a burning desire to eat more cake. Who am I to deny God the chance to enjoy cake… it's my duty really. I considered eating the cake while on the treadmill in an effort to save myself some time, but my abilities to multitask are often in question, so I left behind the rotating runway for the reason I was there in the first place.

I think every day should start with real cake… not just the pan variety!

Coconut confections

2008-01-12T23:13:00.001-05:00

Looking around this morning I noted that the chocolate cupcakes had dwindled down to one, so it was time to get baking again. Todays kitchen adventure resulted in a delicious coconut cake in honor of my best friend Lindsay's new adventure… moving far away and leaving me for love! Who can blame her. So we celebrated with champagne and cake as I think all things should be celebrated with. Luckily Lindsay likes coconut because I had been looking for an excuse to bake this dreamy confection. It was definitely worth the effort and was a total hit! If you're up for the challenge heres the recipe. It's a Barefoot Contessa ceation, so you know it's going to be good!
Cheers Linds, I will miss you dearly!

p.s. you're not taking the cake with you!

My Novel

2008-01-11T18:22:00.001-05:00

Liv had wanted to sign it each time she came to the hospital, but I didn’t want my white plastered arm to give away the fact that I only had one friend who cared enough to sign my cast. I had thought one night about signing a bunch of other names on it so that I would look cooler than I in fact am. Then I realized that I was 27 years old and that would be pathetic. Say nothing of the fact that I would have had to do the signing with my left hand, making it look like I had been attacked by a first grade class learning how to write their names for the first time.

Here's a excerpt from my book, currently titled Shoo Elephant Shoo. It comes from what is currently chapter 27 titled Tasty Kakes and Namesakes. I'm amused by it, and my dad laughed, so that's a hopeful sign.

Watership Down

2008-01-11T16:55:00.001-05:00

The two rabbits went up to the board at a hopping run and crouched in a patch of nettles on the far side, wrinkling their noses at the smell of a dead cigarette end somewhere in the grass. Suddenly Fiver shivered and cowered down.

"Oh hazel! This is where it comes from! I know now–something very bad! Some terrible thing–coming closer and closer."

He began to whimper with fear.

"What sort of thing–what do you mean? I thought you said there was no danger?"

"I don't know what it is," answered Fiver wretchedly. "There isn't any danger here at the moment. But it's coming–it's coming. Oh, Hazel, look! The field! It's covered with blood!"

– Watership Down by Richard Adams

When I was a young doe I watched an animated movie about rabbits, but other than being frightened of what took place, I couldn't remember a single thing about it, let alone its title. Something as an adult must have sparked my memory of this story because I became intrigued in finding it. Years passed and my memory continued to fail me, so I gave up on finding the story. Many years had passed when I started noticing a book in my favorite book store. Each time I went in it seemed to be displayed prominently for me to see, even though it was an older paperback. Finally I picked it up one day and discovered that long lost bunny tale that I had been searching for since childhood.

Whether you remember it from your younger years, or you've never heard the tale of this group of daring rabbits, it's a must read. In fact I think it's better as an adult as it's not so scary. Although I did question the motives of a rather brave front yard rabbit the other day…

yum

2008-01-11T01:27:00.001-05:00

I baked some cupcakes this evening and topped them off with my Great Aunt Dorothys delicious icing… unfortunately I cannot share the secret to the recipe… but know that it's oh so delicious and the enjoyment is abundant.

All Rights Reserved 2008 © Books and Bakes

Love in the Time of Cholera

2008-01-10T23:52:00.001-05:00

Little by little, listening to her sleep, he pieced together the navigation chart of her dreams and sailed among the countless islands of her secret life.

- Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

A good friend Rachel had recommended this book to me about a year ago, and once I finally got around to reading it I was delighted. Sure I'm certainly not the first person to talk about this book, but it's worth the praise once again, even just from little old me. The above line is so freaking delicious I didn't even know what to do with myself the first time I read it. As a writer that's a line that makes me want to be an even better writer. Of course I would never presume to put myself in ranks with the likes of Garcia Marquez, however, if I'm lucky someday in the future, someone else will do it for me!