Saturday, March 15, 2008

Rice Cakes and a Lexus

I've been reading back through what I have finished of my book, to make sure that I am, in fact, heading in my intended direction. It's a daunting task, and one that I've been putting off for quite some time. It was satisfying seeing those 172 pages come rolling off the printer, until of course I realized that this number confirmed my worst fear — I am not writing nearly enough. So indeed, it is time to kick this novel into high gear. If it's ever going to win a Nobel and a Pulitzer than it has to reach completion, and it's never going to get written on its own. 
The book has a bit of an odd format, one that I'm hoping a publisher or editor will not want to change. It roams back and forth between journal entries and chapters, giving the real moments and then true insights of the character in question. As you may or may not know, the book is about a young woman suffering from depression, while trying to find the strength to love herself enough to put an end to her desperate need for a husband/man. The journal entry that I am going to share is set well into the book at a time where Eddie, the main character, has finally reached a place where she can laugh at herself. I laughed, and so did my mother and father, so hopefully you will enjoy it as well. 

I find it highly amusing that no matter how much progress I have made when it comes to moving away from being desperate for a man… it always seems to creep back in every once in awhile. And it’s always when I think I’ve finally licked the damn thing.
I’m driving up I 81N after a visit to a friend who lives down in Roanoke. I hadn’t had breakfast, so I was munching on some rice cakes on my way back home. They were the mini kind, so one could fit in your mouth with just a hint of difficulty. I was in the left hand lane, as always, and I was coming up on a man in a Lexus. I guess for some reason I felt that the back of his head suggested that he was good looking. Just as I was about to come window to window with him, I froze with a mouth completely full of mini rice cake. I didn’t want to appear as if I was eating, because god forbid an attractive man in a Lexus motoring along I 81N see me chewing. Unfortunately for me, the majority of my rice cake was causing my right cheek to bulge. The right cheek of course being the one that this man was going see.
Luckily my sense of self worth was not dashed all over the highway, and I was in fact able to continue driving past the man in the Lexus. No I do not know if he was attractive, because of course I couldn’t look at him!
Even more luckily, I was able to instantly laugh at myself. I mean really, what was I thinking? Did I expect the possibly attractive man in Lexus to be so captivated with just the right side of my face that he would follow me home and confess his undying love for me. Or maybe if he was on an urgent errand and could not pause now to confess, maybe he would write down my license plate number, and beg the local authorities to give him my information. Of course the car is registered to my father, so he would end up thinking I was married, and then not pursue me!
Oh my god! I live in a movie. It’s exhausting. But thankfully it seems to have taken a turn from drama to comedy!
Sheesh :)

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