Torture

As a professional procrastinator I find myself once again avoiding my book and watching Sex and the City, figuring I'm watching a show about a writer, that must count for something. It happens to be the episode after Carrie finds out that Burgers second book option was dropped. She's going to jury duty when Burger says he's going to head to a museum since he's in that part of town. Carrie says "Oh, well aren't you going to write today?" eliciting a wounded reaction from her beau, with him asking her if she thinks he's a slacker. It got me thinking, why is that I torture myself with guilt when I'm not writing? I literally make myself feel horrible if I'm sitting around doing nothing, as if every moment of my waking existence has to be committed to writing this book. And further more, why am I procrastinating when I'm supposedly doing what I've always dreamed of doing. Shouldn't I be happily writing every available minute of the day? And how is that I somehow find a way of torturing myself for torturing myself too much? Every once in awhile I long for that 9 to 5 existence, or 2 to 10 as it was for me in the newspaper world. I know, ech, how could I say it, but the thing is when you leave work you can actually leave work! Not so when you work from home. It's always sitting there, watching you like that puppy that just wants to go out and pee when you don't have time to let it out. Or like that pile of laundry that gets higher and higher even though you work from home and actually for once in your life have no excuse of running out of clean underwear only to be left with every girls secret, that token pair of granny panties we seem to be given at birth. I guess I really should rethink my self imposed torture as it has the potential to end up in a relationship killing crash of pink carnations. Unless of course the relationship between me and my torturous side is all thats finito. Ugh, this is torture. 

Course, Charlotte and Harry get engaged at the end of this one… so there must be some hope for the future.